Friday, May 24, 2013

My Fourth Worst Trait

Today, I was supposed to write about my 3 worst traits. This post was important to me as someone who likes to assess myself and my growth and what I need to improve on. However, right now, I sit here with the carpal tunnel in my left wrist worsening by the minute. My brain is fried for the day. I am spent. I want to be able to reflect and find the right words to express what this post was intended to be.

I just know I am unable to do that right now. So, here is a negative trait about me that sums up the first three. I hope this holds you over until my brain gets some time to recharge and I can write about the others.

4. I put myself on the back burner I got everything done for everyone else yesterday [almost, didn't have time to submit every design for work #1] But instead of coming home an hour and a half later than anticipated from work #2 and sitting down to enjoy some falafel I was looking forward to and working on some orders for work #3, I started preparing a salad, only to be dragged away, back to my computer by a mass group text that was started about my work #1 designs, realizing a half an hour later that a) it was 9:00pm and I still hadn't eaten and b) I left the fridge open. That whole time.

Now, here I am at 1:30 in the morning, trying to bust out this blog post that I was really looking forward to taking the time to write, and stressing about the fact that I had zero time today to put toward work #3, which again, I was really looking forward to. When this happens one day, fine. Two days, I get it. But then you realize an entire week goes by of constantly putting yourself and YOUR priorities on the back burner. It drags you down. I literally feel how it affects my self esteem.

Because I put myself on the back burner, the things that matter most to me get little to no time or thought which, in the end, makes me not proud of my work or myself. Stella, my cat, has an echocardiogram that was supposed to have been booked nearly two months ago. My June 20th deadline for the most important project thus far in my personal business [which I haven't even had time to write about] has yet to be worked on! Take a lesson from me, friends. Take care of yourself first. Because if you aren't okay, you'll soon see that everything else in your life won't be okay either.

I'm out of words. This is the worst blog post I've probably ever pieced together. Today's one of those days when I just need a mom hug...

Visit again later for my top three worst traits. Oh, yeah. I know you're excited.


Kaitlyn Aiono said...

*Hug* sista. That's a hug.
I feel ya. On the flip side, you seem like a hard worker and that's worth noting. Make some tea and revel in that fact for a minute.

Brooklyn McKenna said...

Sending hugs your way!!! It is so easy to put ourselves on the backburner. I hope you find some time this weekend for YOU! :)

Rowdy! said...

That is some honest self assessment. And when managed, a useful skill.

Sarah at Midwest Pillowtalk said...

giving you oodles of mom hugs from me lovely girl <3

Holly said...

You need more time at the beach :) I'll bring drinks!

Seriously, I know this feeling. Putting yourself last. It does make life feel out of balance and it really does start to take a toll on you emotionally, physically, mentally, emotionally (yeah, that's in there twice). We all need that time to ourselves - to breathe, to do what makes us happy, to live.

There will always be deadlines, but with each deadline should come you time! Go sit on the beach for awhile and soak in that pretty place you call home :)