Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Keeping Up With the Blog Joneses

It's time for a little rant. Originally, I was going to blog about the pressures of getting married and having kids. I can't log onto Facebook without reading about another engagement, wedding, or baby A, B, and C's gender reveal. Don't get me wrong - I am happy for all of you whose lives have taken you that route. I know how exciting new life events can be. However, I'm certainly in the minority over here. At least, that sure is how it feels more often than not.

Not just on Facebook but among the blogging community too. I'm in this odd phase of my life where I thought I'd be married with at least one child by now but really, my life is the complete opposite. I absolutely love the independence I have now. I've never been the "I always have to have a boyfriend" type of girl. I greatly value my alone time and freedom to learn on my own, as my mom taught me at a young age to do.



I see people [girls and guys] who bounce from relationship to relationship, all the while remaining the same. And then I look back at my past year and a half of being single, and I can see how much I've grown. Some of that growth was due to circumstances beyond my control and some of that growth was due to choices I made for myself.

But sometimes I feel like one of the odd balls. One of the only twenty-something not married, not with children, not tied down girls out there, especially in the blogging community. I certainly march to the beat of my own drum. I just wonder though... is there anyone else out there like me? Where are all the single ladies?! All the single ladies, put your hands up!

And on top of that, to make me feel like even more of an odd ball... I'm not much of a consumer. I've never bought anything from J. Crew or Anthropologie, I've had the same iPhone case for my phone since the day I bought it, and the idea of having a credit card for a store baffles my mind a little bit. [But ask me what Billabong's newest pieces are and I could basically draw them out for you. I blame it on work. I study that ish for breakfast.]

My point is - sometimes even my blog posts make me feel like an odd ball, especially upon moving to Southern California and paying over $4.00 for one gallon of fuel. My money doesn't go toward a new blog design, or eyelash extensions to write about, or a renovation of any sort on my house to show you. And I'm okay with that. I just don't know if my readers are. I write about life, whether it's funny or sad. I don't often write about material goods. Shoot, if you're wondering how single Chelsea makes it alive in San Diego and want to know my single-girl tricks on living wisely and within my means, maybe I can write about that.

But I won't be writing about a baby's brand new nursery reveal anytime soon ;)


43 comments:

julia rose. said...

favorite. post. ever.

i, too, am in my mid 20's... no babies, no marriage, no hus-bunny, and no plans to have any of these in the near future. (sorry i'm not sorry facebook and blog land)...
granted- i do have a pretty amazing boyfriend. but we are nowhere near the serious biz-nass that one would expect me to be at 25. and i'm okay with that. it's incredible how much i have grown when i look back to the last few years of being single and on my own. i wouldn't trade it for anything!
so no, you're not alone. everyone should really just be jealous of us and our endless opportunities we still have ;)

Rachel said...

I think the interesting-ness of life comes from the fact that we're all so different--and you should never feel pressured to be different from yourself just because of other people! I think it's fun to celebrate differences--you would never find me in one of those (boring and super expensive) J Crew stores--and I don't even have a smart phone (I hope I never will. If they make old-fashioned candy bar cell phones forever I'll be so happy). I got married when I was a teenager--so basically everyone around thought I was crazy....and now, a few years down the road, most recently married people are buying houses or having babies, and I can't even imagine being in a position to buy a house...a baby seems slightly more possible than that. :P Celebrate the differences about you! They add a little extra spice to life! :)

The Pink Growl said...

Preach it to me sister! Everyday this happens to me and honestly some days I let it get to me and let it make me feel like I'm not doing something right with my life because I'm single. It's SO BEYOND refreshing to see a beautiful girl like yourself really embracing the single life and empowering the rest of us. XOXO

Life in the Heights! said...

Word!! I completely understand where you are coming from! My life consists of attending weddings or being in them (I have been in 13), baby showers, rain dances, you name it. While I am really happy for them all, being a 29 year old that's not married starts to make me feel like a total oddball. I rent a house, no kids, not married and normally just post about what the hell I have been up to. I'm okay with that though, because God has a plan for all of us! I love reading your blog! Don't change a thing about it or yourself!! You rock sister and you live by the beach!!! That's a total WIN!!!

Lauren said...

You should DEFINITELY write about ... how single Chelsea makes it alive in San Diego and want to know my single-girl tricks on living wisely!

Life's Tails said...

I'm right there with you! I have learned so much about myself by not rushing to date or get married after my last long term! But feel free to write about how you make it out there :)

Nicole said...

One of the things I enjoy about reading your posts is that you're REAL. A LOT of those bloggers, I feel like atleast, put on the persona of having the 'perfect life', and don't share the flaws and struggles that life throws at us on their blog. There are so many blogs out there that try and "one up" and "trump" others and those kinda people just aren't work getting your panties in a bunch about.

Keep being real, us 'normal/boring' girls enjoy it :)

JC Carter said...

I could care less about Baby's new anything, so no compaints here.

THough i think your job is really cool and would like to hear more about that.

SHAYNA said...

I can totally see where you're coming from here! Even if you do have that man in your life, or bought a house, etc., I think there will always be a sense of "keeping up with the Jones'". I so admire you though - your strength, determination & drive to follow your dreams & make them come true! Sure, I would love to have moved off somewhere, did I have the guts? No! Shoot, Matt & I didn't even have the guts to move 3 hours South to Austin a while back & we would have moved TOGETHER! LOL! I admire you though & love living vicariously through you! :)

Carolyn said...

I totally hear you! Even though I am that married 20-something who is about to have a baby, I sometimes feel out of place in the blog world too. Everyone is so set on buying the newest, trendiest things, and I'm trying to not spend money. HAHA!

Honestly, my favorite bloggers are the ones that don't focus on that. They're the ones that tell their story and don't try to fit in. And you're definitely on that list! :)

Jennifer C said...

I absolutely love your blog and keep coming back (every day) because of what you write & the way you write it....right from your heart! Don't ever stop.

Chelsea said...

I love your blog post. I love how open and honest they are. They make me think, which is nice since most other bloggers blog about what they did/ate yesterday. Which don't get me wrong, that's fine (I do sometimes), but I love reading something that lifts me up and makes me think and realize things.

CALLIE said...

Girl!! Your blog is one of my very favorites bc you are real and you don't write about those silly things. Not that I don't love to look at pretty clothes, but sometimes that stuff is unrealistic and I can't keep up ha! I have quit writing about all of that type stuff, as well, for the most part. I started my blog to be more of an online scrap book and I have gone back to that. When I look back one day, I will much rather see all of my life events than what mascara I used in May of 2013.

Jacqueline said...

I think this post just made me love you blog even more. I'm with you on all of that. Sometimes I feel like the outsider because I'm single, no babies, no engagement...

It's nice to find others in the same boat when we thought we were so alone on this blogging road.

Lisa McKell said...

I've never commented on your blog before, but it's something i read here and there. I totally get how you feel. I didn't get married until a little later (only a year ago). I don't have kids yet and a lot of times I feel so out of place because I am not the "norm" in the blogging world. It honestly blows my mind how people afford the things they do or buy. I find myself looking at my life and thinking "What am I doing wrong?" But then I remember that I am happy with my simple little life ... So keep being you! I like when people are real and aren't afraid to just be themselves!

CeCe said...

I'm married with the house and I've been shopping more then I care to admit but I feel like a bit of an odd ball because I don't have kids. So it seems there will always be SOMETHING! Just do you. That's what I tell myself and that's what I'm trying to do. Everyone has a different perspective thank goodness or else things would be really boring.

Jenn said...

I love what you write about on your blog! It's who you are and it's what you're doing. I'm certainly not judging you for being in one place in your life or another, and if someone is, eff them! :)

Lauren said...

**Enthusiastically throwing my single lady hands up in the air**

Holy crap, are you me?!

I've been feeling like a total oddball during this entire challenge.

No manz, no kids, living on my own and enjoying my independence in the greatest city on Earth. I appreciate that variety is the spice of life and everyone's on a different path, but it's nice and refreshing to find someone else that I have that stuff in common with.

A.M. said...

I think you literally read my mind. I found your blog through another blog(??) and I am right there with you. Twenty-something, single, no kids and that apparently makes me un-interesting to my mommy friends.

I think us gals should band together :) New follower!

Melanie said...

I'm honestly SO glad that I've found someone else that's a blogger and not married with kids. It's nice to read about others with similar lives.

I totally feel where you are coming from. I almost always feel uncomfortable or like a 3rd wheel going anywhere. Nope, can't talk about a husband I don't have. Nope, can't go to playdates with a child I don't have. Totally feel ya.

K_stets said...

*raises hand* ;)

Keep doing what you're doing girl! I'm in the same boat. I swear I had like 10 posts in my FB news feed the other day about babies or something of the sort.

I'm still jealous that you get to live in SD. ;)

Jenn @ West Sac Honey said...

Me I'm raising my hand! I actually just caught a bouquet at a wedding after I realized that I'm allowed to catch those again! Lol..

I'm feeling you on all of this..

Whitney said...

I'm married and 27, but NOT ready for kids. It baffles me that girls that are married and 22 have baby fever. I've never had it, and don't know if i ever will.

I have tons of credit cards, but I closed out the store cards years ago. I have cards with balances, but I never use them and haven't in a year. I'm paying them off!

I've never bought anything from J Crew and everything I own from there came from Goodwill. I'll let someone else pay $75 for it, and I will get it for $3.

I would much rather travel. That's my thing :-)

Jess said...

I am right there with you. Sometimes I have to stop reading FB or certain blogs for awhile because it makes me feel bad about myself and left behind. I write about anything and everything. I just lost my best friend/man I was sure I was going to married to death by suicide a little over a year ago, so I write about grief, too. Although, I just like to be authentic on my blog. So, if I am happy, sad, mad, left out...it's all there. I find yours to be the same way. Don't change!

Laura:: said...

I feel the same way. I am married and we do have a house but we're not always remodeling it and it is definitely not up to "blogging" standards by any means. And I have felt the need to step back from even reading certain blogs as of lately due to so much pressure for the newest outfit, beauty product or gadget. Husband and I got rid of cable a couple of years ago because of all of the commercials and the cost for something we didn't put much value on. And I hate to be made to feel like the content in my blog isn't of value if i'm not meeting the standards of other bloggers (even though that certainly shouldn't be what blogging is all about)

but no, i do not want to keep up with the joneses - not next door, not the blog ones and not any others that make me feel inadequate in my life i live.

and as far as you being single, my best friend is single and living life. she is following her dreams of social work and not having to answer to anyone. i'm married (over 3 years now) and children arent even on the horizon - and in my neck of the woods, we are so weird and "oh my gosh why dont you have any children yet" and i was even told "it's okay sweet heart, God loves barren women too" but last time i checked i wasn't, it was just a choice to not have children.

so even though our situations are slightly different, i can completely relate.

Brittany said...

Oh. my. goodness.
I love this post. It's like it spoke directly to me. My college is all about getting their MRS degree. If you don't have a ring by spring, then there is something wrong with you. Your blog is about you, and that is completely special. I just hope to be just as good a blogger as you one day!
-Brittany

Cassie Marshall said...

Although I am not single, I am not married either. I completely feel what you are saying, so many of the girls (wonderful girls at that) are married and/or have babies and I just can't relate a lot of the time. Although I love my married friends, being single is a blessing in it's own way and I want to enjoy this sweet season and not get caught up in feeling like I need to be married.

The Egg said...

this is why your blog rocks!
being true and honest is what makes blogging awesome for everyone

xo the egg out west.

Natalie Joseph said...

It doesn't surprise me that there are so many followers commenting on this post because yes, like you Chelsea, I am in my 20s and one of the few of my Facebook friends not to be married or having children or planning on either of them any time soon. I digress, why it doesn't surprise me is because we (all these ladies in their mid 20s who do not form part of the majority of society) need one hell of a back bone and huge voice to be able to stand up on our own in crowd full of couples (or groups). I swear my parents are concerned there is something wrong with me for not being more paniked that I am alone but the truth is if it was meant to be, it would be. I keep telling them when it's right, I will have all those things and I don't know if I would blig about all of them but I like to think there is more to me than that and that won't dissappear after marriage and a babies.. I have been having problems accessing my blog server BUT I would have had my rant about the exact same thing!

Thanks for having a voice :)

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Suzi @ chores and chandeliers said...

I hear ya. I am married with kids and a house. But I also feel like my blog is 'different' then most! I dont write about potty training, what i feed the kids, what the hubs and i are doing this weekends, girls nights, what I bought, etc. I often wonder if anyone is ready!

I LOVE YOUR BLOG! and your honesty!!!!

Stephanie said...

Same. Social media is so great at times, but when I see an engagement every other day it gets kind of rough and then I just feel like I will be an old spinster for the rest of my life. We'll be fine, though. You're not the only one. :) Thanks for sharing. Loved this post!

Blanca Olivas said...

I'm not single, not in my twentys but I love your blog! You speak from the heart which is perfect to me. Have a wonderful day!

Cortne said...

I just fell in love you! Great blog. And if you check out my blog, please don't judge the post today...jk. You'll know why, I have better ones ;)
Cortne
cocoinmagnolia

Cody Doll said...

I am not single but I also I am not married. I also don't plan on having a baby, EVER. Nothing against kids. I also don't have a full time job or do much of anything being on a TIGHT budget so your not alone. There are others like you out there.

Cody Doll said...

I am not single but I also I am not married. I also don't plan on having a baby, EVER. Nothing against kids. I also don't have a full time job or do much of anything being on a TIGHT budget so your not alone. There are others like you out there.

Brianna said...

I am so behind on my blog reading... this is why I'm commenting so late (:
But my hand is raised HIGH to the sky! right there with ya girl! I feel like I'm in this weird place in life. There's people WAY younger than me getting married AND having kids (on purpose!) and I'm just like WAIT!? Hold up... I'm still young too right?! This can't be happening!
Plus the fact my LITTLE sister (who is only 20) is getting married in August... I'm feeling a WHOLE lot more pressure now. And at times I catch myself feeling a little suffocated about where I am in life- I'm graduated from college, I'm in my CAREER... surely the next step is marriage right?! But then I have moments of seriously loving being on my own, being single, having the freedom to do whatever I want, BUY whatever I want (within my means of course ;) and not having someone else to have to check in with, ya know?
I'm the same, never been the girl that HAD to be with someone. I totally have those friends- the ones that ALWAYS have a boyfriend or someone that is interested in them/they're interested in... and that's never been me!

And I love your blog and love your content- you're always completely honest and I love that about you!!
xo

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