Friday, September 23, 2011

This is My Journey

One month ago today was the day I left Utah. I drove away from the little life I made there for myself {and started to share with someone else} over the past year and a half. Although so many things happened in that short amount of time, at times I have felt like so little was accomplished.

I drive around my hometown now with license plates from another state and sometimes I feel odd. Kind of like those buildings that start being built and are never finished and they stand there alone, half-built. People stare at them wondering what happened.

With the exception of one blog post, I’ve kept most things private. I don’t sit around and talk to my {in real life} friends about it, I don’t go posting statuses on Facebook about it, and I no longer listen to Carrie Underwood’s “Sometimes You Leave” on repeat. {Don’t get any false impressions – I still don’t like country music.}

Just over one month ago when I was in that apartment alone with my cat, a couple million cardboard boxes, and some memories, my heart and mind were consumed with the feelings and thoughts of what was happening.

So, yes, moving back to Virginia has been refreshing and has allowed me to focus my thoughts and energy on other things. However, I know that moving doesn’t just erase everything and I remind myself everyday to use this time to learn and grow. I look back at where I was a month ago and two months ago, and already I can see a huge change in me and my strength as a woman. I realize that instead of a building that never gets completed, my story is more like that of one of my favorite structures…

The National Monument began being built in 1848. However, due to much turmoil around the time of the Civil War, construction was halted. It wasn’t until 1876 that construction resumed, this time with altered plans from the original design. Despite the turmoil, change in design, and even the two different colors of stone that had to be used, the monument was completed and stands tall today.

The truth is, my life hasn’t gone exactly as I planned. I started to build a life with the hopes of it blossoming. While sometimes I’ve looked back at the past year and a half feeling like all I really have are remnants of something that never grew into what I had planned, in reality, that period of time became part of the foundation that I built. Now, after the turmoil and the drastic change in design, I have continued to build upon that foundation. The plan may be different and the colors may have changed, but I’m on my way now.

While writing usually comes easily to me, this is the most difficult subject for me to find the words for. It’s a very true and personal time in my life so it’s important to me to find the balance of keeping what’s private, private while also remaining honest about my life.

After all, this is my journey. 

GreaterGood

{via}

17 comments:

Rebecca said...

Your honesty is amazing. Hang in there!

Katie said...

I just love ya so much more after this. SO honest! xoxo

Just noticed you added Ashley from In this beautiful life to your buttons! :) did you know we went to high school together?!

xoxo

ashley said...

i love this. you are so strong Chelsea! keep building :)

Lauren said...

Everything in our lives makes us who we are... the good and the bad. I too look back at times of my life and think "geez, why did I waste those years??" but they're never really wasted. It can just seem like that because they are in such sharp contrast to our life direction at present. Really though, we would never be traveling where we are now, had we not been there first. <3

Joelle said...

I don't think anybody expects you to have words...and maybe you don't need them. You definitely don't have to explain anything to us, but know that we appreciate your honesty. And we appreciate that you care about us enough to try and share your life with us. It makes us care about you too :)

Hope you have a beautiful weekend my dear.

xoxo,
Joelle

Alexandria said...

You're a fantastic writer. It's going to feel weird for a while, but just know that it will get better. You deserve to be happy.

P! said...

They say all wounds heal in time and you're a shining example of that. This post was incredible- so honest and so beautifully written. I'll pray that the healing process continues to get easier and easier. Have a great weekend and God bless!

Ashlyn said...

I am so happy for how honest you are being. Sometimes that is the hardest thing for us to do, esp on a blog. I know that it has been hard for you, but where you have been & what you have been through has only made you stronger! You are capable of EVERYTHING lady! :] love you!

Hollie Ann said...

Girl you have COURAGE! You will become a better person.

Jessica said...

This is most definitely your journey. The good and the bad, and it only makes you a stronger person. I love that you're able to be honest without exposing too much information. You are such a brave woman!

KY said...

Thank you for pouring your heart out. I feel for ya, girly. Keep your head up; you enjoy happiness and sunny days are ahead. xo

Miss K said...

thinking of you and wishing you the best!

Diana said...

Hi doll
You should only share what you feel comfortable sharing. After all, it´s your life, your blog right ? People that love you will have your back.
Look after yourself first and formost. ;)

Ashley said...

Love how honest you are when you write- don't ever worry about that! You're such a strong person for sharing and you write out your thoughts beautifully.

Oh, and you are absolutely right- this is YOUR journey! Thinking about you... and if you ever want to chitchat or get away with a PSL in DC, just say the word :)

Lauren said...

Praying for you! I'm so glad you shared a part of your journey! Things will only get better! <3

Jax said...

You definitely learn more in the journey than in the destination. I couldn't imagine how difficult something like this was for you. I applaud you for re-routing your journey, even if the path has been a little rocky in the process. You're a beautiful person, friend. For real.

Kristy said...

Your honesty makes me love you even more!!!
xoxo