Confidence is Key

Have you visited Ashley over at The Shine Project? I’ve only known about her blog for a few days but can already tell how beautiful she is (on the outside AND inside!) Every Monday she posts a “challenge” for the week. These challenges ask us to search our mind and soul for our answer and to write about it and share it by linking up. This week the topic is on confidence and the question is:

IF YOU SAW A MOTHER TREAT HER DAUGHTER THE WAY YOU TREAT YOURSELF, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT MOTHER?

I used to have confidence when I was younger. Confidence to dance on the beach boardwalk like a wild banshee in front of a ton of other families. Confidence to run for Vice President of my elementary school without thinking twice about it. Confidence to make friends with anyone, anywhere. Confidence to be super close with my teachers. That all changed once I entered middle school.

I became intimidated, scared, and timid and didn’t believe I deserved friends that I had a lot in common with, good relationships with my teachers, or to be recognized.

I’m that same way today. I constantly second-guess myself, talk myself out of doing something because I think, “other people can do that, but not me.” It’s not necessarily a question of whether I’m confident about my appearance. I’m a woman. There’s constantly something I want to change about my body, but I get over it. It’s more about my inner confidence. I like to believe I have a lot to offer the world, but my actions don’t show that.

As women, we’re constantly told that confidence is the number one thing guys look for in a girl, that women should be confident, etc. etc. So, what if we aren’t confident? Then we get called “insecure.” I loathe hearing that word because the truth is, no one else has ever been in our shoes. They don’t know about that one comment someone made behind your back or that one time someone spread a fake rumor about you just so her friends wouldn’t want to be friends with you. And, yes, that really happened.

But, if I sit here and ask myself the question of if I saw a mother treat her daughter the way I treat myself, how would I feel about that mother… I’d think the mother was way too hard on her daughter. Don’t get me wrong, I think mothers should be tough on their daughters. I think mothers should be close with their daughters but also be their toughest critic. However, that doesn’t mean mothers should talk their daughters out of everything they want to do.

If I saw a mother say to her daughter on her very first day of middle school, “Have fun, pay attention in all your classes, be sure to lock your locker, but hey… you don’t deserve to be friends with any of those girls you meet” I would not think good things about the mom. My mom has always been great about encouraging me to get together with girl friends and to stay in touch with them today. I still find myself saying things like, “Oh, I’m sure they’ve been swamped with work and family stuff. I don’t want to bother them” all the while thinking to myself they don’t care to talk to me or I don’t have anything worthwhile to update them with.

But you know one thing? This blog has been amazing for me. It’s brought me back to a place where I used to be. It’s brought me to blogs from girls all around the world who I can relate to, who can relate to me, and who help bring that confidence back. I’m sure a hater would tell me that’s pathetic but I don’t really care. I’m confident enough to say I’m a woman with my own insecurities. I’m real. I’ve been hurt, I’ve been lied to, I’ve been burned but I know good people are out there everywhere and I want to open myself up to the opportunity of being a good friend and knowing that I can offer them something just by being alive.

1. I will keep blogging and reaching out to anyone who I can relate to, even in the smallest way
2. I will put it out there to the Universe (big thank you to The Secret for this one!) “I expect to do whatever I put my mind to”
3. I will put myself in situations where I feel good about myself and refrain from situations that don’t bring out the best in me

We have to believe we can. Whatever it is, we have to BELIEVE it. After fostering dogs this past week, I felt happier than I have in a long time. I felt confident in what I was doing and felt GOOD about what I was doing. I felt right. I choose to believe in me.

Wishing everyone a Happy NBA Draft Day!!!!! GO UTAH JAZZ!! We have two lottery picks this year. Tonight we’ll be joining in on the watch party at Energy Solutions Arena! :)