Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Lessons of August 22nd

August 22nd.

August 22, 2010 was the first full day of being engaged. The first full day with a ring on my left ring finger. The first full day looking forward to forever with someone I loved.

August 22, 2011 was the last full day I lived in Sandy, Utah. The last full day I spent living in an apartment with someone I would no longer be calling my husband. The last full day of being surrounded by the pain within those walls.

August 22, 2012. Today is the 6-month anniversary of my Mom's death. It is also my Dad's birthday.


So many mixed emotions that this one date in August holds.

Today, I want it to be a turning point. While today and the past two years remind me of pain, loss, and heartbreak... I want to turn it around.


I will never be able to change what these three dates mean - what happened. The truth is, I will never be able to control what happens in the future either. However, going forward, I want this to be an emotional turning point for me.


I'm letting go of the past and I'm letting go of the outcome. I accept this as God's plan - the trials He's given me - the scars - the new strength.

I fully embrace this life that has been given to me. The lessons I've learned. I've accepted that there are some people who aren't meant to stay in your life and that letting go of them will allow you to live a life truer to you. I've accepted that death happens - often when you least expect it - and that there is nothing you can do but live a life in honor of them.


I've changed.
I've learned.
I've grown.

And those are things that will never cease in this life.

As each day's sun sets, I remind myself that tomorrow will be new.
Tomorrow will be a gift.
And I remind myself to continue looking up, always. 

To this turning point...

21 comments:

MzJessicaxo said...

Good for you girl. Keep your chin up, these days are part of your past and things you may never forget. Just remember, you always go in the direction your looking, so don't look back :)

xo

Carolyn said...

Wow. What a day! I love your positive outlook on life, and I know your mom would be SO PROUD of how you're handling everything!

momFITtingitallin said...

The best thing is that YOU ARE GROWING and LEARNING from the pain to ensure that you are in your happy spot! Good job girlie!

Sharee'
www.momFITtingitallin.com

Lauren said...

You're so positive Chelsea! :) Love your outlook through everything!


xo

Whitney @ Everything Happens For a Reason said...

I've loving your positivity, even though it had been a painful date.

Ashley Jones said...

Chelsea,

Think of it as a day of celebration instead! A celebration of a time that was so wonderful and happy in your life. A celebration of a new, although at times difficult, chapter in your life. A celebration of the incredible, loving, full life your Mother lived. And a celebration in honor of the most perfect man you could call "Dad". Your positive attitude shows through in your actions. Keep a smile on your face and just remember to persevere. Two of my favorite quotes are:

"It will always be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

"Never, ever, ever give up."

Happy Celebrating! :)

Ash said...

many hugs to you today, my friend. you are stronger than you will ever know (:

Katie said...

hugs hugs hugs to you my darling. you are so strong!

Chelsea Coleen said...

i dont want to sound repetitive. but as i was reading. i just kept thinking she is so strong. so strong. YOU ARE SO STRONG. i'm happy these events have brought you closer to God rather than farther away. i sometimes struggle with by bad things happen too good people - but really you just have to have faith in God's plan. Sometimes thats harder said than done, so happy you are going forward. thinking about you today Chelsea!

Eliza :: Case Study said...

This post is amazing :) You're so strong, always remember that! xoxo, eliza

katie michelle said...

what an amazing attitude you have, sweetie. this post was beautiful, and i'm so glad to hear you taking these experiences, and moving onward and upward. so many hugs and love to you on this day!
xo

Amy said...

This is such a powerful post! I seriously read like the first 4 lines and bam. Became a follower. I love how real you are. I am so sorry for your recent loss, and the heartache that you have faced. I love how God can use our brokenness to bring glory to him, and to help others. Praying for you girl :)

Amy Lynn said...

I honestly wish I could give you a hug. I know the feeling you had in 2010 and I'm starting to feel the feeling you had in 2011. It's scary and I am so glad you have triumphed even with everything you have had to deal with. Stay strong girl, I bet your mom is up there thinking about how proud she is of you!!

Kim Orpin said...

Like all the commenters before me, you are such a STRONG person! I can't imagine what must be going through your mind today, but I'm so impressed by your attitude about everything. Excited to see where life takes you :)

Megan said...

im so glad you can take the negative and try to turn it into future positives. there are things that may never make sense and will not make you smile, but by going about them in a graceful manner and trying to get the good out of them...you will certainly at some point, be able to change august 22 to a day of celebrating what you've overcome and not dwelling on what it was.

on april 16, 2007 one of my friends was killed at virginia tech. i sulked and dreaded that day every single year for 3 years and it took me an entire year to get over his death (it affected me really hard). then, somehow, in 2010, the day came and i realized i could turn the day into something more positive and i had a great day that day. i didnt dwell on it and just celebrated being able to control my outlook on life by doing things i loved. it kept my mind off of it and i was able to turn the day into something that made me happy and not sad.

blah blah blah...im rambling as usual. <3

Kristen said...

ohmygoodness, i can't believe so many large events happened on the same day. i'm so sorry love, i'll be thinking about you!

Paul Hafalla said...

Your post is great to read. I was wondering why people have different colors of life but still I participated.

Vivian said...

How interesting that a single day can have such meaning..wow! But well said only move forward, not backwards.

DearKrissy said...

Right on Chelsea. Revelations like this aren't easy to come by, so good for you. Turn it all around.
Accepting things as part of God's plan can be/is really hard, and is actually something I am struggling with right now.
Here's to changes, moving forward, and turning it all around. Here's to change, for the better.
http://dearkrisssy.blogspot.com/

Holly said...

I just love you. The end.

Kristin said...

wow thats a lot of heavy stuff!! keep your head up girl