Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Stories and Acts of Life

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It feels like I’ve been staring at the computer screen for hours. I mentally debated over what to post about today – what I did last weekend, something funny, etc. As the time ticked on, I turned more and more ideas down. Maybe this post isn’t really going to make much sense, maybe it will resonate with even just one person who reads this.

There have been so many thoughts on my mind as of late, obviously. Some days I wonder when this period of my life will be over – when will my mind just be clear of it all, when will the dark circles that miraculously appeared under my eyes disappear, when will the next chapter begin?

But, then I think about the stories in a book; the acts in a play. When the next chapter or scene begins, not everything prior has abruptly ended, has it? Act Two begins with stories and events from Act One trickling down and eventually coming to an end while new characters are introduced and new events unfold. I’m realizing this about life too as I continue to find things to laugh about, see the beauty in everyday life, learn, and make new friends and memories.

“It’s a process.”
That’s what I say to myself and to my friends when they ask how I’m doing.

It’s been oddly comforting to instantly bond with someone who’s been through a similar situation, to have friends ask me 101 questions because they’ve never been through anything remotely similar and are curious, and also to watch heartbreaking movies like Blue Valentine. Yes, it’s a sad movie but, guess what. My life is not a friggin’ fairytale. Not all stories are happy go-lucky. Real life can be tragic and ugly and it can hurt.

But, all sad stories have the chance to be turned around into something positive in the next chapter or perhaps in the sequel.

I’ve never really considered myself to be an optimist. In fact, I’ve seen how being overly positive can act as a shield; a disguise and can, in turn, destroy something. The trick is to find a balance. Take a bad situation and really feel the pain, the hurt, the sadness – whatever it is - really feel it, accept it, and then learn from it. Find a way to make it change your life for the better.

I’ve taken the time to let myself feel it to the point where some days I could hardly eat, some nights I could barely sleep, and Kleenex boxes wound up empty. But, I’ll tell you one thing – each and every day that passed by, I got out of bed, I got ready, I faced the world, and I found something to be grateful for and to learn from. Some days {like yesterday} are more monumental than others, but each day is a stepping stone.

I made the decision to live a life of happiness and prosperity and growth.

The chapters in my book are still being written. I see how, as one page is turned, new stories are being created as old ones fade out. My focus is to keep writing, keep creating, keep becoming.

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I know there are women {and men} all over the world who also feel “stuck between chapters” of their lives during times of hurt and heartbreak. Whether you’ve been following my blog, or just stumbled across it today, know I’m just an email away if you ever need a shoulder to lean on :)

14 comments:

ashley said...

i'm here for you. and i love this- "My focus is to keep writing, keep creating, keep becoming." what a wonderful way to live your life.

love ya friend.

xoxo

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CALLIE said...

You are such a strong person and you will get through this in no time!! God has an awesome plan for your life and it's going to greater than anything you could ever expect!! Stay strong pretty girl and just know that you are always in my prayers.

Lauren said...

I am totally an optimist, but I do think you're right you have to strike that balance. It's not about thinking everything is going to be alright, all the time, and that nothing bad will ever happen. It's about keeping alive the hope and believing there will always be things to hope for. Keep strong lady, the ugly things in life just illuminate the pretty things <3

Joelle said...

I think you are so brave to post this here, and I really admire you for being able to take a step back and look at your situation this way. I do believe that everything in our lives happens for a reason. There are just some people that can handle it and some people that can't. I think you're one of the people that can :)

Hope you have a better day today than yesterday. And I hope you have a better day tomorrow, too.

xoxo,
Joelle

Alexandria said...

It is a process, and I think you're doing a fantastic job working through it. I'm so glad I get to tag along in your journey :)

Hollie Ann said...

Your bravery is inspiring. I've been in that in between stage before and for far too long but it does end.

I'm here for you :)

Raquel said...

Love this post! Go you for being such an amazing, strong, and positive person! :)

xoxo

Katie said...

you are so inspiring Chelsea! I'm sure you are helping so many women be brave out there and you don't evne know it yet. I'm SURE of it. I always admire your positive attitude & I'm here for ya.

Love you!xoxo

Carolyn said...

What a great outlook! I love so many things you've said here. :) Keep your head up doll! You're doing great!

Britt said...

Being stuck is hard. You don't want to wish time away but you want to get out of the funk you are in. Keep the positive attitude {even though it is hard and you want to tell people "I KNOW" in the most sarcastic tone or at least that is how I approach it :) }. You are very real, I think that is why I enjoy your blog so much.

Krystina said...

Obviously, everyone is saying the same thing because we all see it. This was an amazingly strong post. It really resonated with me and moved me to tears. It can be so hard to see and start the next chapter. To accept what's brought to this point, use what it's taught you (as I fully believe everything was meant that way), and let it go. Like in Eat, Pray, Love- The Instructions for Freedom. I've read and love the book but that passage I revisit every once in a while. It's on pg. 184 if you're curious :) Sending you lots of love and energy!
*Krystina

Kate @ Daffodils said...

Hoping things start to go your way, glad you are near family and friends. Keep your head up, I'll be passing positive vibes your way!

Michlle said...

PIC--- I love you for reasons like this. You are a true beauty and have such a good things ahead of you in life. Lessons will be learned through each phase, each heartache, each tear--but it will make you a stronger person and as everyone already put, help to inspire others. Keep your head up, you've got a lot of people behind you!

Sophie @ threetimesf said...

I hope things start working out for you soon Chelsea! It's so sweet that you are reaching out for people and offering your shoulder in a time like this - I hope you know that we are there for you too. You know where I am (or at least where my little corner of the blogosphere is!)... :)