Monday, July 8, 2013

When People Disappoint You

It was a tough week. Physically and emotionally. But there were miracles.

The Universe handed me several important lessons. Some lessons were learned when good opportunities came with loopholes. Or when the feeling of being deeply let down or hurt led me to rise to my feet again and find a better way.

The sudden death of my mom last February was a wake up call. It was the greatest lesson I could have learned. It was a second chance. To live. And through that second chance, my priorities shifted, my dreams re-aligned, my perception forever changed.

People are going to disappoint you. Friends, lovers, co-workers, strangers, even family members. It's inevitable. The only thing we can really control is how we react to being disappointed. In the past, I was quick to forgive. I was often too eager to move past the awkward "we're fighting" stage for whatever reason: we had been friends for so long already, I didn't want to be alone, but we had so much fun together, etc. After my mom died, that all changed. I had to re-examine everything. More importantly, when something tragic happens in your life, you find out who truly, truly cares for you.

Now, let me just say that I've always been the type of person who does not, will not, ask for help. When people have offered their help, it's always, "Oh, no it's okay, but thank you!" But when my mom died, I was immediately surrounded by angels on this earth. I will never, ever forget the way certain people have made me feel and continue to make me feel to this day. The people that stepped up, went/go out of their way, show me what it means to be loved. To really be loved. And that has changed everything for me.

I let go of the mediocre friendships. The people who never said, "thank you." The guys who wanted to have their cake and eat it too. Life is too short to be anything but happy, my friends. And I learned that part of being happy is surrounding yourself with people and things that align with your truest potential. People who support you in every sense.


Don't get me wrong. None of us are perfect. We each fall, and fail, and manage to let someone down from time to time. But examine what you tolerate. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Be able to tell the difference between someone who feels remorse and someone who is seeking a quick fix.

Recently, I've had to re-examine what I tolerate. I knew that in order to live a life of abundance, positivity, and love, I had to change the negative pattern I had of allowing people to fool me twice or thrice. As difficult as it was to cut the cord recently, I am grateful for the situations that occurred because they presented me with the opportunity to say, "That's it. I've had enough."

Examine what you tolerate. If you have friendships and relationships with people who disappoint you more often than not, ask yourself, does this relationship align with my values, with my purpose, with my happiness? Love yourself. Put your foot down. Make room in your life for the love and miracles that are meant for you. The miracles will come.

21 comments:

Lauren said...

Rough week (and upcoming week) for me too. Hope yours is looking up!

Chelsea said...

I never thought of it that way, but that is so true. People will disappoint, it's all about how you deal with it. I will defiantly be keeping that in mind. I'm not very good at dealing with things like that. Had to get rid of a friend a year ago, because, it was never his fault - he never did anything wrong. Even when he hurt me badly, he still didn't see what he did. But your right. It's all for the better :)

Natalie Joseph said...

I absolutely love this post, I have been going through something similar and I really appreciate your honesty because coming to the realisation that decisions need to be made is difficult but once you have to write it down, it's a little bit harder of a pill to swallow.
Good luck

x Natalie

http://coraltintedperceptions.blogspot.com

Natalie Joseph said...

I absolutely love this post, I have been going through something similar and I really appreciate your honesty because coming to the realisation that decisions need to be made is difficult but once you have to write it down, it's a little bit harder of a pill to swallow.
Good luck

x Natalie

http://coraltintedperceptions.blogspot.com

Jena said...

Great post - I feel like I'm constantly trying to figure out what I will tolerate with some friends. My biggest problem is letting go of "friendships" that I've had the longest. It's tough.

Cody Doll said...

I am so with you on this post. I had to do that not to long ago. I came to realize that the person I thought that was my best friends, wasn't. It was hard but it wasn't a true friendship.
I hope that you are okay and that all your friends are real friends.

Jenn @ Bliss to Bean said...

Wow. This really caught my attention, as I'm currently in a situation with my father/step-mom. No matter what I've tried to do, I just feel like it's at a standstill and it's driving me insane. I just need to let go and see what miracles can come forth because of it. Thank you for sharing your heart on here. I appreciate it!

Bailey K. | Let Birds Fly said...

Very wise and thought-provoking post. Your strength inspires me!! Hope your week gets better. :)

Raquel said...

I went thought a point a while ago where I just had to cut off those "toxic" friends. When you do, it's like a whole new world opens up. You have a better, more positive outlook on life and it's kind of a breath of fresh air.

Hope everything gets better soon. If you need anything feel free to text me or email me!

Melanie said...

This resonates with me SO much. But how do you keep those people out of your life? What do you say to them? How do you quit being friends with them without causing bad feelings or animosity?

Jenn @ West Sac Honey said...

Great post it's so very true.. I liked the last paragraph the best..

Annie said...

Great post! I just recently broke ties with a few friends who were bringing me down and while I am still not completely over it I am moving on and realizing how bad they were for me.

Hope you have a better week this week!

Laura said...

Great post! Such a very important message!

Jane said...

This is something I know logically, but I have to keep reminding myself. Emotionally it is so much easier for me to essentially be a doormat to get past the awkward bits. But, I deserve more than that. And, you are so right, there is no reason to have those people in your life. <3

sunnysideshlee.com said...

This is a great post and something I can completely relate to. I'm the same way, the "It's ok" or "I don't need help," and I think that actually makes you more lonely because people do not think you need them.

I had a great and rough week - can that be the same? And had a falling out with my own mom, who hasn't been the greatest mom in my past 30 years. I've always done the "it's ok" thing with her - "it's ok you don't want to spend time with me," "its ok we don't talk for months." But i hit my boiling point when she made a scene at my wedding and lost it. Now we're not speaking and I feel guilty.

You're right when you say you have to stand up for yourself. Life is too short for others to bring you down - even when they are the people who should be closest to you. You will eventually realize who's there for you and who really cares and should weed the others out.

Renee Arianna said...

Amazing post. So very well written! Touching and inspiring.

saleem mohd. said...

Free Social Media Marketing where Every thing will be Free, Facebook Likes, Twitter Followers, Twitter Tweets, Twitter Re-Tweets, Twitter Favorites, Google Plus Followers, StumbleUpon Followers, Youtube Views, Youtube Likes, Youtube Subsribes, Pinterest Followers, Pinterest Likes, Pinterest PinIt, Free Website Visitors.
Just Join now and Free Increase your Social Media Networks.
GetLikeFast.com

Habeib Khan said...

Lols Gag is the the Best Lol Network Ever, where you can every thing is lol and Funny, Troll Images, Funny Vidoes, Prank Peoples, Funny Peoples, Prank Images, Fail Pictures, Epic Pictures, Epic Videos, Prank Videos, Fail Videos and Much More Fun and Entertainment, Lols and Gags, Lol Pictures, Lol Videos, Funny Pictures, Lol is the Laugh out of Laugh where you can Fun Unlimited and Laughing Unlimited.
lolsgag.com

Habeib Khan said...

Top 7 Expensive Cars, Top Most Popular Cars, Cars and Vehicles with Info and Pictures, Upcoming Latest cars and vehicles, Latest Mazda Models, Racing Cars, International Sport Cars, Concept Cars, PS-Pod, Strange Vehicles, Nissan, Royce Corniche, Ford Concept Cars, Strange Vehicles, Mercedes and More Sport Cars and Vehicles with Pictures and Info
WorldLatestVehicles.com

Unknown said...

I have to say that I related to this very deeply. But I am not really sure that the miracles come when you take care of yourself. About 4 years ago I started to really clean house. I stopped being friends with people who were treating me badly. I let a whole bunch of friendships go. I ended up with barely any friends. I am pretty staunch about continuing to fight for myself, so I am incredibly lonely and mainly pretty friendless. Recently one of the friends that I kept in my life pretty much dissed me -- she did it one too many times. And nw I have to let that friendship go... or just demote her to "pleasant enough acquaintance but not a very trustworthy or reliable person" category. And it sucks. It is terribly hurtful. I tried bringing it up with her, and she made a cursory apology over email, and when I fleshed out my initial complaint a little more (not in a passive aggressive way, but in a very gentle informative way) she never responded. I just wonder if people are actually that trustworthy or reliable. My parents were awful to me, and i don't think they knew any other way to be. So many people have let me down. I'm just really sad.

Michael Syaukas said...

Nice post, Thanks for your very useful Information, I will bookmark for next reference, I really liked this part of the article, with a nice and interesting topics have helped a lot of people who do not challenge things people should know, you need more publicize this so many people who know about it are rare for people to know this.Success for you