Monday, July 15, 2013

Time Alone With The Water, The Sun, And My Thoughts

This was my first full weekend in San Diego since... I don't even know when. I had been a social butterfly for the past couple months and was always gallivanting to some far off land like Riverside County or Orange County to see some lovely friends of mine. Last Saturday night, when I returned from a LONG but awesome day trip up to Orange County, it was the beginning of what was about to be a horrible week for me physically.

When I got home at 2am that night, I had the worst pressure in my neck. In the veins in my neck. I couldn't lean over. It hurt to lay down. I was miserable. I chugged a ton of water, thinking that might help but when I woke up in the morning, it was still there. The pain continued on everyday. Some mornings I'd wake up and it'd be on the side of my head. Or behind my eyes. I kept feeling my nose "pop" too which was very odd. I was also suffering with insomnia. One night/morning, I couldn't fall asleep until after 6am. Another morning, I even woke up to my entire abdominal/chest area locking up. It was absolutely terrifying. I had never experienced anything like it. I was miserable.

I had to cancel several plans with friends because I knew I had no other choice but to listen to my body. I've had a lot of stress and anxiety leading up to my new job position [which starts today] and the effects of all the socializing and traveling I had been doing lately completely burnt me out as an introvert. I knew I needed time alone. So, I went to the place where I always find peace...



I was just there. In the moment. Being. Living. Breathing. Taking in the beauty of life around me. The lapping of the water on the shore. The splashing sound as children and puppies ran into the water. The planes taking off not far in the distance. The way the sun felt as it bounced off the water and onto my skin. And in those moments, I was so happy. It was just what I had been needing. I needed some time alone, with the water, the sun, and my thoughts. That time is so important to me. It re-charges me, centers me, grounds me.

On Saturday night, after a couple hours in the sun, I slept soundly and peacefully for the first time in over a week. On Sunday, I returned to that same spot to read and again, take in the beauty of life around me. It seems like I write about this once every month at the times when life gets crazy and schedules get busy. We say "no" to ourselves and our needs in order to say "yes" to bosses and family members, friends, and errands. Yet time and time again, I see the negative effects of that constant cycle. I'm getting there. I'm getting better at saying "no" when I need to and saying "yes" to my "me" time. To just sit and reflect. I promise myself to set aside time, at least once each week, to go somewhere and take in the beauty of life around me.

I know this is something many of us struggle with, for various reasons. Finding balance. Whether it's 50/50, whether it's 30/70 or 90/10, find out what balance you need in your life. Find out how often. And find out what it is that puts you back together again. Be specific. Listen to your body [it's probably shouting it from the rooftops but you're too overwhelmed, like I was, to hear it!]

How do you find balance? What puts you back together?

7 comments:

The Pink Growl said...

Going church helps me find balance! If I miss for a week or two I can definitely feel something off in my life. Being out in the sun or on the lake definitely helps too!

Ashley said...

Perfect. I love moments like that in life-- sometimes you need to just BE! Balance is so important. You're lucky the beach is so close to you... I would definitely take advantage of it when feeling overwhelmed! Miss you, lady! xox

Chelsea said...

My workouts. More specifically my long runs. They provide me with enough time to think about whatever I need to think about. They allow me to relieve the stress of anything. And they allow me to be just down right happy. If I had a beach closer, I'd be doing the same as you though :)

Katie said...

Ughh what I would do to be that close to a body of water that I could enjoy! Lucky lucky girl you are!!

Raquel said...

Balance in your life is so important! I wish I could live closer to the beach. I would be there everyday!

Katie Did What said...

I love this, and you, so much. It's so easy to say "yes" to everybody and everything else, but really we need to remember the importance of saying "yes" to ourselves! Beautifully said. Now if only I had an ocean close enough to me ;) I guess a rive will have to suffice for now.

xo

Katie Did What said...

*river