Here's how I feel as I write this:
It's 11:57PM as I type this and schedule it to post tomorrow morning.
I am just now sitting down for the day.
Sometimes I just want to quit my job, cancel my $100/month phone bill [and every other ridiculous bill], hit the road, and just do whatever I feel like.
And you know what? What is really SO wrong with that?
I am just so sick of not having time for the important things in life.
You know, like writing in my journal or reading that self-help book that will mend my soul. Or perhaps just holding my poor 16-year-old cat who sleeps all day. Go on a walk with my dad. Make the prettiest bouquet I ever did see and take it to my mom's grave on a Wednesday night... just because.
So, when people say "life gets in the way," NO... that is not right. "Life" consists of the things I mentioned above.
That's real life.
That's what grows us.
That's what gives us meaning and fills our hearts.
Not alphabetizing and sitting in traffic for two hours or making coffee three times in one day for someone else.
I am tired of the meaningless, mind-numbing CRAP that fills the precious moments we have left on this Earth. I want to put my time to good use and make a difference. I want to have enough time to do the things I LOVE and the things I was given the gift to do and do well. One of the worst feelings is the feeling of life literally passing you by...
I think about the lives that were just lost in the horrific Aurora shooting. The people affected forever by that. The girlfriends whose boyfriends took bullets for them to LIVE.
LIFE IS A GIFT. A blessing.
I think about the short moments we have with our loved ones who we are unable to see everyday. That time never seems to be enough before we must part ways yet again. And that breaks my friggin' heart.
While I spend over two hours of every day in traffic, I think. A lot. I think about possible new jewelry designs, lyrics of the song that's playing and how it applies to my life, what the heck I'm going to blog about tomorrow and then just forget it anyway.
But I also think about the next big move I want to take with my life. I like big moves. I like change. I like never staying in one place for very long [both physically and metaphorically.]
I'm ready for change. I want to say goodbye to all of those meaningless, mind-numbing activities. There have been too many of those and I know, deep in my heart, that when they are the activities that out-number the meaningful, life-changing activities, it's time to change directions.
Note to self: "Don't ever let life pass you by."
End rant :)