Here's how I feel as I write this:
Glazed over.
It's 11:57PM as I type this and schedule it to post tomorrow morning.
I am just now sitting down for the day.
Sometimes I just want to quit my job, cancel my $100/month phone bill [and every other ridiculous bill], hit the road, and just do whatever I feel like.
And you know what? What is really SO wrong with that?
I am just so sick of not having time for the important things in life.
You know, like writing in my journal or reading that self-help book that will mend my soul. Or perhaps just holding my poor 16-year-old cat who sleeps all day. Go on a walk with my dad. Make the prettiest bouquet I ever did see and take it to my mom's grave on a Wednesday night... just because.
So, when people say "life gets in the way," NO... that is not right. "Life" consists of the things I mentioned above.
That's real life.
That's what grows us.
That's what gives us meaning and fills our hearts.
Not alphabetizing and sitting in traffic for two hours or making coffee three times in one day for someone else.
I am tired of the meaningless, mind-numbing CRAP that fills the precious moments we have left on this Earth. I want to put my time to good use and make a difference. I want to have enough time to do the things I LOVE and the things I was given the gift to do and do well. One of the worst feelings is the feeling of life literally passing you by...
I think about the lives that were just lost in the horrific Aurora shooting. The people affected forever by that. The girlfriends whose boyfriends took bullets for them to LIVE.
LIFE IS A GIFT. A blessing.
I think about the short moments we have with our loved ones who we are unable to see everyday. That time never seems to be enough before we must part ways yet again. And that breaks my friggin' heart.
While I spend over two hours of every day in traffic, I think. A lot. I think about possible new jewelry designs, lyrics of the song that's playing and how it applies to my life, what the heck I'm going to blog about tomorrow and then just forget it anyway.
But I also think about the next big move I want to take with my life. I like big moves. I like change. I like never staying in one place for very long [both physically and metaphorically.]
I'm ready for change. I want to say goodbye to all of those meaningless, mind-numbing activities. There have been too many of those and I know, deep in my heart, that when they are the activities that out-number the meaningful, life-changing activities, it's time to change directions.
Note to self: "Don't ever let life pass you by."
End rant :)
19 comments:
This is so true, and so perfectly written. Instead of accepting that "life" gets in the way, we need to make more time for life! Great message :)
Girl you take the words right out of my mouth! per usual. I feel the same way..everyday I just want to live it up and be happy! :) how about you live on the edge and come visit me?! K?!
Wow. I could have written this. Every single sentence you wrote has been really heavy on my heart the last couple months. I sit at my office job all day doing literally nothing, and think about how I spend 45 hours a week doing that plus more hours on the commute, all to pay bills, and in the meantime I'm not really living. I think about how I'd rather be spending time with my niece and nephew, more time with my dogs, my family.. the stuff that is actually important and makes me happy. Isn't THAT how life should be?! I have a really hard time with it. I've been talking to my friend a lot about starting something up where we could earn an income AND be happy, but we just talk about it and have no idea what to actually do. Sorry for this ramble but it was refreshing to see that you feel the same exact way :)
Sometimes I swear we're the same person. I have been sitting here for a few days wondering why I feel so beholden to my current life and the people in it and this idea that I have to be "mature and responsible" by staying somewhere and doing things that don't make my heart sing. I don't know if you follow Punky and the City but she's moving to New York soon and reading her blog makes me want to go back and try again there so bad - and then this morning I woke up to an email from my old temp agency up there about a job opening and I just keep asking, "is this a sign???" But then I think like, okay, it's a receptionist job so really, it's like a few steps (and a major pay cut) backward from where I am right now and would it really be moving forward with my life to go back to New York?? I just don't know. Cause I keep thinking maybe it's time to pack up and move on to a new place...but then I wonder if I'll ever reach a point where I feel like I've gotten what I want. UGH so many questions and no easy answers. That's the tough side of life!
But, yes. To all of this. And I really love Incubus.
Serisouly, amen to all of this!
I seriously love this! I'm so tired of sitting at work for 8 hours a day, feeling like I'm doing nothing 5 days a week, and spending two hours in traffic as well. It's depressing almost when I think about how much time I feel like I waste. I just turned 26 1/2 yesterday (yes, I still count half birthdays lol) and I realized how much time I feel like I waste being at a dead end job that I hate and not being fully happy. What is the point of wasting 40+ hours of your life every single week? Sigh. Life is just too short! Good luck girl!!!!!
Beautifully said! I feel the same way a lot of time. I commute in and out of DC everyday and it just feels like time wasted. Time I could do something meaningful or important. And I don't want to be chained to a cubicle for years. Thank you so much for the inspiration!
So true. I am on a break right now to refocus on what is important what I want to be spending my LIFE on.
I feel this way the majority of the time but have never known quite how to put it into words the way I wanted to and you just did it flawlessly, so thanks!! ;) Great post, lady!
YES!!! that IS real life! i loved this. girl, i hope you get to make your big move, sooner rather than later! i've been thinking a lot about all of this lately, too. it's time to LIVE our life, and not allow things that bring us down to get in the way!
xo
I love this. You hit the nail on the head. I feel this way ALL.THE.TIME!!! There are so many important things, to me, that I feel like I need to do, but CRAP gets in the way. Why? Because I let it. I need to live. You need to live. WE need to live. Thank you for your words of wisdom as always :) Your time in the car thinking was much appreciated!
This is just another reason why we are meant to be friends! Love you, doll face!
This is great Chelsea. I'm always thinking about what I can do to actually LIVE my life, and not just let it pass by. I think I do a pretty good job of it, and so do you! You have an amazing blog and design jewelry, doing something you love! That's more than a lot of people can say :)
Hope you find what it is you're looking for soon my dear...
xoxo,
Joelle
PREACH!
Wanna come with me to Kansas?
Well said. My job and responsibilities definitely get in the way of what I want to be doing.
DON'T LEAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :( LOL!
Great rant :) and so very very true, I think most anyone can identify with you on this!
I definitely know what you mean about thinking a lot in traffic, I think the message you're saying about not letting life pass you by is so important and I wish you all the best in your move
xoDale
http://www.savvyspice.com/
I feel the same way! I wish I could afford to get up and quit my job and pursue what actually inspires me! I wish my job was more motivating and inspiring...but I am taking every step possible to attain that dream job of mine, even if it does pay significantly less than what I'm making now.
But you should also be very thankful for all of the wonderful things you DO have. The ability to travel for one...I'm 25 yrs old, make almost 75k a year but am in so much student loan debt, and have to help support my family BIG time that I have almost no money left over every month to be able to do something for myself, or to travel ANYWHERE (even a wkend trip to the beach), and to top it off, my parents (dad) aren't very supportive. You should feel lucky for all of those little things that you don't even think about because they're so normal in your life. I'm not saying it's wrong to want or wish for more/better, but it's also important to connect to the good in your life.
I just read this post again, and it made me cry. These words really touched me and mean so much more now than they did before. Just thought you should know, you spoke to my heart today, without even knowing it. And also, LOOK AT YOU NOW!!! Amazing. I hope you go back and read this too and see just how amazing you are :) Also, I think we should be BFF's. Just sayin'. Love you!!
xo
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