Thursday, November 3, 2011

Landslide

Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

As many of you know, my life is in transition. I refer to it often as me “rebuilding” my life. Many people ask me what that means and, to be honest, I can’t describe it. But, I can tell you this from my own personal experiences, it’s not quite as easy as moving, finding a new job, and getting on with your life. The pieces of my heart and soul don’t get put back together just by completing those steps. It takes time.

And, to be brutally honest, some days I just feel lost.

I feel like I had all the puzzle pieces together, but then, as they started disintegrating, I realized some had been misaligned in the first place. Some were out of order and then, as everything exploded, some pieces were lost. Part of me feels like those pieces will never be found again.

Maybe that’s what was supposed to happen. Maybe I’m being given a new puzzle. So, in a sense, I AM lost. I’m sitting here staring at a completely new puzzle with pieces everywhere, not knowing where to start and what’s to come. That’s terrifying.

The below picture was taken the day prior to the wedding. I stood there, where the ocean meets the land, looking out at the Pacific, thinking about all the “hope, love, and dreams” that I thought I was getting ready to welcome into my life starting that next day.

I stood in almost this exact same spot the next day in my bridal get-up for a fancy portrait taken by the photographer.
Little did I know about the landslide. I had no idea that months down the road, the pieces would disintegrate.
Again, I’m not going to go into detail. I won’t write down a timeline. Those things will remain private.

I was reading a message from a friend of mine who mentioned that God has a way of doing things in this life to let us know that it was Him who did them.
{Here is where I let you know that I’ll most likely refrain from any religious/political talk on my blog. All I will say right now is that I do believe in a “Higher Power”}
So, in other words… everything happens for a reason and I know that all of this was and is in the power of the Universe.

As soon as I was done reading that message, I heard “Landslide” come on in the other room. {X-Factor, anyone?}

My thoughts focused on the “changing ocean tides” and on the “landslide.” Things must come crashing down before they can be rebuilt.

Right now I’m being given this new puzzle for a reason. This was how it was intended for me. This is what I needed.

I’m not afraid of changing.

 

*Lyrics by Fleetwood Mac*


22 comments:

Dayna Leigh said...

This is a beautiful and deep post. Every person's life has trials and tribulations that one experiences throughout their life that only makes a person stronger with the outcome. I don't know anything about you, what you have been through, your story, not a thing, and like you said, some things are meant to be private and I respect that and you for not sharing personal things. But it's good to see that I'm not the only person going through hard times where they feel like their world has gone astray. Kudos to us for keeping our chins up and moving forward.

I love reading your blog - thanks for this post.

whitney said...

i love your posts. they are so strong and uplifting.

you have a great support network in this blog-iverse.

i'm with dayna, keep your chin up!

holly h. said...

You are an amazingly strong woman for sharing what your emotions allow you on your blog. I am a FIRM believer that everything happens for a reason and that timing is everything. Sometimes you just have to have faith that things will work out exactly as they are supposed to; because they will. :)

Rebecca said...

All things work together for good!

ashley said...

what a beautiful post! everything happens for a reason pretty lady. xoxo

Kate @ Daffodils said...

Stay strong girlfriend! It is hard to share your heart like this, but I find the blogging community does a great job of helping lift you back up, that is why it is a great community to be part of. Will be sending positive vibes your way!

Lauren said...

Your posts are great! You always open up to your readers and I really like that! God will lead you in the right path! I love XFactor! :) PS I also love your new header! So cute!
xo
Lauren

Carolyn said...

You're so amazing... and strong! :) Keep your head up girlie, you're going to find your way!

Lauren said...

As soon as I saw the title of this post I thought "X-Factor"!! We normally don't watch but it came on and B was digging the music so we kept it on for her to dance. We judged the contestants based on how much B danced to their songs :) I have to say this one wasn't one of her favs... But probably because she prefers a strong beat ;)

It's all a process. You don't wake up one day in a different place. It's messy and it will continue to be... But that's life. It really is. And the ups and downs, they're worth feeling, all of it. Love you girl!

the girl in the red shoes said...

Such a beautiful post Chelsea. Your words are so true. Sending a big fat hug your way today girl!

Shalyn said...

Beautiful post love. I'm praying for you and just know you're going to get through this. Your puzzle will be put back together one day, don't you worry. <3 Stay strong like you are and just know I heart you! :)

katie.michelle said...

This post was really moving. I absolutely agree that everything happens for a reason; it's some great words to live by. :)

Mallory B said...

Chelsea, what a great post! I love you. Keep up the good work-- you are such a strong and inspirational person and you're going to make it through this. There are bigger and better things in store for you. <3

Alisha said...

We all fall down sometimes, but it's the getting back up that really counts! You will get back up on your feet one day. :) Take some time to search deep within yourself. You'll find out more about yourself than you ever knew!

Love that picture.
xoxo

Raquel said...

Oh i love this post! So moving and inspiring. You are such an amazing and strong woman. You can get through all this. Doors close, and new and better ones open up :)

Jayme and Mendi said...

I literally just came across your blog, but I can already tell after this one post that there is so much more for me to read & pour over. You're a great writer. Don't ever stop.

Mendi @ Her Late Night Cravings
http://www.herlatenightcravings.blogspot.com/

Elizabeth and Kyle @ Love Is the Adventure said...

Wow. So much I could say but just so know I'm thinking of you as you're figuring all of this out.

Thanks for sharing with us.

Sophie @ threetimesf said...

Thanks for sharing this with us - I know it must have been difficult to write.

I hope you know how many people are thinking of you :)

Jodi said...

Oh goodness i hope the puzzle becomes a bit clearer for you as your heart heals..

Anna said...

I love this. This is the first time I've read your blog, but you write so beautifully and put in to words things I've been feeling for the last few weeks, as weird as that sounds. :)

I'll be praying for you and that the puzzle starts to become a little more simple for you.


Anna

owlsandlace.blogger.com

Ashley Slater said...

oh wow, I love this post -- so honest!
I am so sorry that you have had to go through some hurts...obviously I have no idea what went on in your marriage, but marriage even on a good day is extremely difficult. You are beautiful and I am sure that someone who is going to love you more than you can imagine is just around the corner. God always has out best interest at heart, and I know that this transition time isn't always the most fun to be in. It's hard to be patient and wait and receive the lessons..... hang in there! You have lots of people rooting for you!

xo,
ashley

Lia Joy @ life is aMAYESing said...

Chelsea, this was a beautiful post! You have such a way with your words. Thanks for opening up and sharing this part of your life with us. I love your reference to the puzzle. I think that life has many different puzzles some we complete and frame to display proudly and others we complete execpt for that one missing piece... Some just don't ever come together. You're brave! Keep your chin up :) <3