Landslide

Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

As many of you know, my life is in transition. I refer to it often as me “rebuilding” my life. Many people ask me what that means and, to be honest, I can’t describe it. But, I can tell you this from my own personal experiences, it’s not quite as easy as moving, finding a new job, and getting on with your life. The pieces of my heart and soul don’t get put back together just by completing those steps. It takes time.

And, to be brutally honest, some days I just feel lost.

I feel like I had all the puzzle pieces together, but then, as they started disintegrating, I realized some had been misaligned in the first place. Some were out of order and then, as everything exploded, some pieces were lost. Part of me feels like those pieces will never be found again.

Maybe that’s what was supposed to happen. Maybe I’m being given a new puzzle. So, in a sense, I AM lost. I’m sitting here staring at a completely new puzzle with pieces everywhere, not knowing where to start and what’s to come. That’s terrifying.

The below picture was taken the day prior to the wedding. I stood there, where the ocean meets the land, looking out at the Pacific, thinking about all the “hope, love, and dreams” that I thought I was getting ready to welcome into my life starting that next day.

I stood in almost this exact same spot the next day in my bridal get-up for a fancy portrait taken by the photographer.
Little did I know about the landslide. I had no idea that months down the road, the pieces would disintegrate.
Again, I’m not going to go into detail. I won’t write down a timeline. Those things will remain private.

I was reading a message from a friend of mine who mentioned that God has a way of doing things in this life to let us know that it was Him who did them.
{Here is where I let you know that I’ll most likely refrain from any religious/political talk on my blog. All I will say right now is that I do believe in a “Higher Power”}
So, in other words… everything happens for a reason and I know that all of this was and is in the power of the Universe.

As soon as I was done reading that message, I heard “Landslide” come on in the other room. {X-Factor, anyone?}

My thoughts focused on the “changing ocean tides” and on the “landslide.” Things must come crashing down before they can be rebuilt.

Right now I’m being given this new puzzle for a reason. This was how it was intended for me. This is what I needed.

I’m not afraid of changing.

 

*Lyrics by Fleetwood Mac*