Saturday, August 20, 2011

Would I Change Anything?

I’ve been in the journaling mood for quite some time now but the only “journals” I have right now are half-used spiral notebooks and I’m too OCD to start halfway through the pages. One day I will go buy myself a pretty, new journal. Until then, I’ve got this blog :) I can’t tell you how much I LOVE Danielle’s blog over at Sometimes Sweet. She has posted another journal prompt and I’ve decided to take the challenge:

If you had a free pass to go back and change anything in your past, with the promise that it would only affect you positively, would you do it? And if so, what would you change?

journalday2

I have always been one to say, I don’t regret things, I learn from them. Recently, I started to question that. I hit a point where it felt like I had made a series of wrong turns along this thing called life; turns I wished I had never made. But now as I’m able to shed a bit more light on those turns, I KNOW and TRUST that I made them for a reason. I truly believe, no matter how hard it is sometimes, that everything happens for a reason. It may be days, months, or years before we start to find the answers, but one day we will.

There is a difference between wishing something didn’t happen the way that it did and regretting something. If I could go back and change anything, I would change the way I approached some situations. Looking back, I went into certain times being too naive and caving to pressure instead of standing up for myself. This is a random example, but one of the first times I drove on the freeway, I was in the far right lane and out of nowhere, I looked in my rearview mirror and there was a huge tractor trailer on my tail. I am terrified of tractor trailers. So, instead of keeping my pace and letting him pass me, I caved and hit the pedal to the floor. I had to have hit almost 80 mph in a few seconds. Something bad could have happened.

I’m not some dare devil who flies by the seat of my pants. I’m a planner and I’m usually overly very cautious. But, looking at the past I see that most situations where I wasn’t cautious were when my thoughts and actions were influenced by something or someone other than myself. In the end, I end up letting myself down. I think that while it may take longer and it may inconvenience someone else, if I am making a decision about my life, I should take my time. It will affect me positively in the end.

Here’s another example: Today I was at the pet store. I was at the register, had Stella in her carrier on one arm, my purse hanging on the elbow of my other arm, and my wallet in one hand. The cashier hands the bag, some dollar bills and some coins back to me and starts ringing up the lady behind me. I try putting the change back, and then the dollars but they start to get stuck. I feel like I must be taking forever, so I start to walk away with two bulky things on my arms and money and a wallet in my hands. I should have just taken my time at the register but instead, I made it hard on myself.

While I can’t go back and change what’s happened in the past, I want to make a point of not letting this happen as frequently {or at all} in my future. I want to stay true to myself in all things I do.

8 comments:

Lauren said...

Last night I was thinking about the same exact thing... No joke! What I mean is, I ALWAYS say that I have no regrets but everything has made me who I am today, but there is definitely one thing that I wish was different. I don't spend all my time focused on it, but I just know I don't want my daughter to feel the same way. I was going to blog about it this weekend because like you, my "journaling" is on my blog. I can't start writing in a regular semi-used notebook either and when I buy a new pretty one, if I forget about it for awhile, I feel like I have to start all over again in another... etc etc. Vicious cyle :)

I always do the same thing with change by the way... I move because I feel like I'm taking too long at the register and then I'm annoyed that I did. I feel like this happens alllll the time. When will I learn? Haha

Claire Kiefer said...

I love journal prompts. Just the other day I found a website with a ton of them and I emailed it to myself so I could go back to it. And this is a really good question . . . so many people say "I have no regrets!" but there are a few things I have done in the past that I regret because they hurt other people. Of course if I could go back and NOT hurt someone, I would, you know? Not to say that I'm not grateful for where I am now, but if I could tweak a few of my past decisions, I would. ;)

Karen said...

I am exactly the same way!!

Katie said...

What a great prompt! I'm exactly the same way, I'm always anxiously shoving money into my purse because I feel like I am moving to slowly at the counter. This was great to read :)

Kiersten said...

I loved this post! I've always tried to live by the same philosophy - no regrets, because you learn them. Over the past year or so though, I've definitely done things that I regret. I just have to keep reminding myself that I did learn something from it all.
Great post - thank you!
<3 Kiersten

Amanda C. said...

Great post. I love how honest you are. I guess everyone has some things about their life that they would do differently. All you can do is take it for a learning experience and keep on trucking.

ashlyn said...

chels, i am the {exact} same way! i think alot of people are. i think one thing that i do alot is i don't know how to relax -- i am always so worried about something& sometimes that causes more stress in my life then i need & also causes me not to enjoy what is going on in the present time. but i know what you mean, by keeping yourself accountable & working towards taking charge! you can def do it! :]

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