Some of you may have read in my About Me section that I’m indecisive. I really am. I’d love to see what’s going on in my brain while I make decisions. Usually the smallest decisions are the hardest for me. Example: choosing which toothpaste to buy at the store.
And it goes a little something like this: “Hmm, Colgate is on sale for buy one get one 1/2 off. But, I prefer Crest. And what’s the point in getting two sets of toothpaste right now? That just means I need to find somewhere else to put the other one. Okay, so Crest. Do I want the cheaper baking soda one? The one with Scope? Gel or paste? Sparkles or no sparkles? Cool Mint? Clean mint? Lasting Mint? AHH!”
Yeah, welcome to my life. And people wonder why I prefer to go shopping on my own. Except, it’s different when I’m shopping for clothes. I’m in, I’m out. If' there’s any doubt in my mind that I won’t like it next week, I don’t get it. Usually…
But, the point of this post isn’t about deciding which toothpaste to buy or if I want the pineapple mango kiwi smoothie or the pineapple banana strawberry smoothie. The point is the above quote. I’ve struggled with that quote my whole life. I have a hard time deciding. There are things in life I haven’t liked, situations I’ve been in, for example, that I wanted out of. But, I didn’t know where I wanted to go.
That right there was my problem. I would never get anywhere without making the decision of where I’d rather be. I’ve never been one to settle. Settling to me meant accepting something I didn’t really want and becoming comfortable with it; allowing a part of myself to be less than it really was worth. So, I’d decide I wasn’t going to accept it (settle) and file it away. Kind of like an old message on the answering machine. I always knew it was still there, needing to be re-listened to, dealt with, and deleted but I never did it.
If we want to see a change occur in our life, whether it be a job, where we live, a relationship, etc. we have to decide where we’d rather be. Saying, “I want a different job” isn’t enough. Otherwise, for the rest of our lives we’ll never be truly happy. We’ll be settling for not settling but we’ll never be where we want to be.
This is something I’m working on everyday. The fear of settling for something, in a way, fuels me and makes me never want to give up on or diminish my dreams. But, at the same time, because I don’t decide where I’d rather be, it can often paralyze me. Luckily, it’s only temporary.
Does anyone else ever struggle with this? I’d love to hear your thoughts and what has worked to help you decide where you’d rather be! :)
11 comments:
AH I feel you girl!!! I have the hardest time making decisions! I usually know what I want when I see it but then I battle with the voices in my head that are questioning my decision!! This is a great post! I love the quote! :)
Such a good post, Chelsea. I am so indecisive as well and will spend countless minutes in stores or dressing rooms deciding which things to buy or not to buy..it is so silly. Then, once I do buy them, I most likely get in my car and wish I would've got the other. GRRR! I just take everything one day at a time and try to not stress over little things :) I get freaked out about settling as well...unfortunately I don't have any good advice on that - just always keep your eye on what you dream of and don't let anyone tell you you can't.
XOXO!!
I hate drive-thrus because even if I have been there a million times, I still don't know what I'm going to order and feel rushed. I ask for advice on watches because even though I should know which one I want, there is some doubt... But, I think most of my indecisiveness is because I like possibility and because a decision ends things. Which I guess is why I get a little sad, just a twinge, when I book a vacation - because the planning and decision-making is done.
I lucked out choosing to go out to OK for grad school after undergraduate. I didn't have anything to lose - If I didn't like it after I graduated, it would be on to the next thing. But it really does come down to asking yourself, "Where would I rather be?" and I can honestly answer that with "Nowhere". There is nowhere I would rather be, at least as far as where I live. I've pondered a move time and time again, but no where else is where I want to be - even when the people there are people I want to be with. I hope you decide where you want to be - and just remember, if you land somewhere new, it doesn't have to be where you rest. Life is a journey, and the dust doesn't settle until the air becomes still. Just keep on moving and you'll end up in the right place :) One decision at a time!
Totally agree with you! I am the same way! I cannot make a decision for the life of me. I am always wondering should I have done, this should I have done that... I am always thinking ... what if? I always feel like I will regret things ... its a constant struggle lol..but thanks for this post cus i feel the same way sometimes!!
Ashley
I have absolutely struggled with the fear of settling my entire life. I used to be really afraid that I'd wind up regretting a decision because maybe my choice wasn't absolutely blowing my mind or exciting me. In my experience, even when I made a choice that wasn't exactly in line with what I thought I wanted for the future, it wound up leading me to where I wanted to be anyway. I really believe that everything happens for a reason, as cliche as it may sound. I also believe we are smarter than we give ourselves credit for...because, really, who knows us better than we know ourselves?
Those are my thoughts on this, hopefully my rambling made sense!
OH GOSH. Read my latest post. I feel like we are kindred spirit sisters :)
Society likes to tell you to settle, I've found. But in my relationship with the boyfriend, I'm finding that while he might not match up to the exhaustive checklist I carried around for ages making up my perfect man, he broke me out of my settling attitude because he turned out to be so much more than I ever could have asked for. Sometimes I have to remember that to figure out where I want to go, I have to be willing to learn from others, admit that I don't know it all and that things won't always go my way, and really let my heart take the wheel over my head (one of the hardest things ever, right?!)
Just remember to be true to you, even if that means being indecisive for a little while. A bit of self-reflection usually helps loads.
i'm from utah but i lived in virginia for almost two years while serving a mission!
i love this post so much! soo so so true.
It's definitely tough as to really know what the future holds!
I totally feel ya girl!! I've ALWAYS been VERY indecisive!! But the difference is that I jump and make huge changes before I really think about it. At least you have a plan before you jump..lol. That's why I've had several careers and lived in several towns. I feel the urge for change and I change it!
XOXO
Gemeni as a sign,girls?:)
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