Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A Letter to Mom

Dear Mom,

You have always told me that I was a natural-born writer. How do I find the words this time?
How will I ever go on without you in my life? You’re the only one I’ve always known.
No word that I can ever say will be enough to show you how much I love you and how badly I want more time with you.
Oh, Mom…
Today when I saw you, I just wanted to hug you. I wanted to squeeze you so tight and never let you go.
I think of all the memories and things I want to tell you. All the time I didn’t spend with you but wish now that I had. I think of all those things and wish I could fit all of them into the time we have left with you here.
But, I know that’s not possible.
I know you have angels with you now and they’re preparing you for what is next.

I don’t know when that time will be, Mom. And that’s so scary because I know it’s sooner than I ever could have imagined.
There’s so much that I still need to learn from you. There are so many memories I’ve yet to share.

I knew our time here on Earth was precious, but I never knew how precious until now. Clinging on to every last second with you. Every last chance I can get to feel your hand in mine or rustle my fingers through your hair like you always loved for me to do. I know one of those times will be the last. And I’m just not ready, Mom.

I sat there today and watched your chest as it moved up and down, as you struggled to take those breaths. I watched your eyelids open and close and I looked down at your pretty pink toenails. I’ve been trying to soak up every moment with you, never taking one second for granted.

I’m sorry that you are going through this, Mom. We all wish we could jump into your body and fight this for you.

Mom, can’t we go back?
Can’t we go back to when I was little and you’d walk me along the beach as I picked up seashells?
Can’t we go back to all the nights you’d braid my hair into a million braids so it’d be wavy the next day?
Can’t we go back to all our mother-daughter dates? I’d treat you to that McDonald’s milkshake or we can share a Mr. Pibb with two straws when we go to see a movie.
Can’t we go back to all the days we’d drive around in The Lady, blasting music and dancing?
Can’t we go back to all times we’d get ready to go somewhere only to find out our clothing colors matched?
Can’t we just go back, Mommy?

I can’t bear the thought of being without you. Of knowing I can’t pick up the phone and hear your sweet voice on the other line. Or see another email from you pop up just checking in to see how I’m doing. Or just knowing I won’t be able to hug you whenever I feel like it or say “I love you” and hear it back.

You have shown me the true meaning of unconditional love. You’ve shown me what it means to be a family. You’ve shown me what it means to be a daughter, wife, and mother. You gave me the greatest gift of all – life. I promise to live a life in honor of you.

I’m just not ready to say goodbye, Mom. I love you.

--

We found out today that my mom has an incurable cancer. Our hearts were shattered even more after hearing that the cancer is so advanced that she may only be with us for a few more days before God takes her away. I can’t even explain the pain I feel having to put that last sentence into words. This all happened so quickly and, in the words of my brother, “it hit so fast and hard that it’s almost unbearable.” Every letter I type, I become more and more afraid of losing her; my beautiful, sweet Mom.

183 comments:

Hollie Ann said...

you are such a strong, strong woman chelsea. remember god has trusted you to learn, live and support such a wonderful person and you will make it through this somehow! and so will your family. you're in my thoughts and prayers! so sorry you're going through this lady <3

Kate @ Daffodils said...

God Bless you and your family Chelsea!

Megan said...

my heart is truly aching for you and your family. i really don't know what else to say :(

Unpublished Life said...

Oh my goodness, Chelsea! I am so sorry for you. I can feel your pain and this letter must have been so incredibly difficult to write.

I pray for your mother, and for your family. I pray God will provide you with the strength you need.

God bless, Chelsea**

Gretchen said...

I am so sorry :(.

Sarah @ 90 Percent Blonde... said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am sending every prayer I can your way! I couldn't imagine going through this but you are such a strong person (and I can tell you've gotten even stronger the past few months). Just know you always have a blog friend over here if you need to talk <3

Raquel said...

Oh Chelsea i'm so sorry to hear this :( No one should ever go through this pain. You're such a strong person Chelsea. God will give you the strength and the guidance.

Praying for you and your family <3

Leslie said...

Chelsea, I am so sorry to hear this about your Mom...you and your family are in my prayers!!

Erica [pocket full of chuckles] said...

Oh, Chelsea. I'm so, so sorry. I had no idea you were going through this. I'm praying for you and your family. Let me know if you need anything, anything at all.

xo
Erica

Megan said...

Chelsea, my heart is breaking for you and your family. I will be keeping you all in my prayers.

Lauren said...

You are indeed a natural-born writer. Your mom was right, as most moms are. Your words were chosen perfectly, because throughout this letter, I could truly feel the love and compassion you have for your mother.

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I wouldn't wish times like this upon my worst enemy. But know that God will have her by His side, the moment that she leaves yours. You are a strong and beautiful and inspiring young woman who has the world at her feet. Your mom loves you and will be watching over you someday.

I will continue to pray for you, your mom, and your family.

Jessica said...

I am so sorry to hear about your mom, Chelsea. I can't even imagine what you are going through. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Amanda C. said...

Beautifully written. This brought me to tears. Often I have thought of all the things I have missed by loosing my mom at 17. Just know that she will always be with you when you need her. I am praying for you. God bless.

Amanda C. said...

Beautifully written. This brought me to tears. Often I have thought of all the things I have missed by loosing my mom at 17. Just know that she will always be with you when you need her. I am praying for you. God bless.

Megan@ Meg's Craft Creations said...

Chelsea this was beautiful. I can't even imagine going through what you are and I am so so sorry that you have to. My heart aches for you and if there is anything you need (from across the country) let me know! Be strong and remember that this is happening for a reason. Lots of love.

Megan

Shalyn said...

This is such a beautiful letter Chelsea.

I'm praying so hard for you right now love. I can't imagine what you are going through...It makes me tear up. I wish I could be there to hug you sweet girl. I will be praying for peace and understanding for you and your family. Your Mom is lucky to have a daughter as wonderful as you. No matter what, she will always, always be with you. I'll be keeping you guys in my prayers. Love you girl. Sending all my love your way <3

Denise said...

You are an amazing writer! Chelsea, I am SO sorry for what you and your family are going through. Your mom sounds like a beautiful woman and I can't imagine what you must be feeling! You have so many bloggy friends who love and support you and any one of us will be here if you need to talk! I'm praying so hard for your mom and family, for peace and comfort. Love you girl!

CALLIE said...

O Chelsea. There are no words. Praying hard for all of you. Just remember to rely completely on God. He will get all of you through this!

The Lord hears His people when they call to him. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and He rescues those whose spirit is crushed. Psalm 34: 17-18

Brianna said...

Oh sweet girl, I am so sorry!! You and your family will be in my prayers. This was a beautifully written post, thank you so much for sharing. You are so lucky to have the gospel of Christ in your life, as He will help you through this!! Stay strong girly!! xo

Pamela said...

I am so sorry!! You & your family will be in my prayers!!

Carolyn said...

My heart is breaking for you. I know there are no words that will make this better. It's a horrible situation. I know the feelings you're feeling. I've felt them. I wish there was something I could say to make those feelings go away... I'm so glad that you are close enough to be able to make some cherished memories before you have to say goodbye. I'll be thinking of you, and praying for your family! If I can do anything, please let me know! I'm sending hugs through the blog world!

KAH said...

My prayers are with you Chelsea. Sending lots of love your way.

Katie said...

Your Mom is right...you are a natural at writing. So beautiful. I know we've emailed but I felt the need to still comment. I'm so sorry all of this is so sudden. It's a blessing to know she is at peace, though. You have to believe she will always be with you Chelsea...even if that means constantly reminding yourself of that or writing it down. Her love, her character, her personality will always be with you because YOU get to spread her love now as her daughter. People will feel her through you. You will feel her love all around you and that will comfort you.

Love you and praying,
Katie

Mackenzie said...

Prayers your way, XOXO

Young and Fabulous said...

your writing is so beautiful and your mom is right <3 <3

it hurts my heart to read this chelsea but i have some comfort in all of the memories you have of her. Those are your memories that you can cherish FOREVER! and Im positive your mom has all of those memories too that she will take with her. Your mom will always be with you

sending lots of love and hugs and kisses and prayers to you and your family. You have the whole blogging community supporting you and being there for you <3 <3

xoxox

Lia Joy said...

Ooh sweet Chelsea! I am praying praying praying! My heart is breaking for you. This letter to your mom has me in tears. No words that I write will make this better and I so wish I could make it better for you. Sending hugs your way! Love you!

Renee said...

I'll be praying for you! Don't lose faith.

Rebecca said...

You are in my prayers. This is utterly unthinkable. I'll pray that you and your mom and the rest of your family are given the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Tara said...

I'm so sorry, Chelsea. I can't imagine what you're going through, but you will be in my thoughts. Please take care.

Britt said...

Lots and lots of prayers are being sent your way today.

Lauren said...

So, truth, I started reading this when I got to work and just could not finish it then. I had to come back because while I cannot imagine writing these words, they still affected me even TRYING to imagine. Not only because of my feelings towards my own mom, but even more so being a mother now and imagining my daughter writing these words to me - THAT is what gets me more than anything.

I know you said your mom seems like she is at peace and I must say, she must be VERY proud and confident in you and must know your future will be amazing and you will weather this with grace. Otherwise, I guarantee she would not seem to be at peace at all. The highest of compliments and faith in you - and with good reason :)

Ashley Slater said...

I can't know how you feel so I won't try and offer comforting words because sometimes its okay to just be a wreck and be broken and let yourself feel the emotion. I have visited your blog often enough to know that you are incredibly strong woman so I KNOW that you will find the strength and get through this one step at a time. You have inspired me and reminded me to not take my own family for granted and that really is a a gift in more ways than I can even explain to you right now---- I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I will pray for your peace and and for God to just take hold of you all and that you will feel Him. I will pray for your mothers comfort throughout this and that if she goes soon it will be with minimal pain. And I will pray that once this chapter is closed that your entire family an cling to each other and cherish her memory and honor it by living your lives to the fullest.

xo,
ashley

Sheri said...

I am so incredibly sorry for what you are going through, Chelsea, this is absolutely heartbreaking. I'm sure your Mom would be so proud of this letter, I sobbed reading it, I can't imagine having to face losing my mom and I don't even want to think about it. You are inspiring your readers to go out and hug our loved ones. Thank you for that.
Love and hugs to you and your family.
xo

Tiffany said...

Oh Chelsea. This just absolutely breaks my heart. My family went through a very similar situation with my Uncle David who we lost over Christmas. I am so, so sorry that you all are going through this. I will be praying for you and your mom and your whole family. God bless you all as you say goodbye.

~Tiffany
http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com

Katie Price said...

Sending love and prayers your direction.

Torie said...

Honey! You have been through so, so much this past year. I wish I could just fly my butt out to where you are and give you my biggest, most sincere hug. I am so sorry that you are facing yet another intense trial. This breaks my heart. I wish I could take the pain away. Just know you're not alone and all of us here on the blog will do whatever we can. Sending all kinds of love your way. <3

Stephanie said...

Chelsea, though there are not many words that can make this better for you, just know that you have a HUGE support system here in this little blogworld of ours.

Thanks to Katie @ Keep Calm & Carry On, I've been following your story recently and just want to say it was meant to be that I find your blog. You see, I lost my dad tragically a little over 4 years ago so I can definitely relate to what you are/what you will be going through. Katie and I both bonded over this a few months ago with her losing her mom and it has been one of the best friendships I could have ever imagined.

Please just know that God has this special plan for us all and though you may not be able to understand "the why" right now or even years from now, just know that He knows "why".

I will be praying for you and your family over the next few weeks and months to come. If you need anything or just to chat in general, please don't hesitate to email me.

Your mom will be in a much, MUCH better place than we are and she will forever look down upon you. She knows your strength and know you will make it through all of this.

Again, I am so sorry that you and your family is having to go through all of this. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

michaela @ m.jane said...

praying praying praying for you, sweetie. i lost my mother-in-law a couple years ago to a fast attacking cancer. it's gut wrenching.

i found this quote with her things one day. "it's the realization that we are loved that saves us when the world around us crumbles; lavishly loved by family, by friends, by God." it's provided me a lot of comfort.

(((hugs)))

elz said...

oh my gosh. i am so sorry and so sad and so angry for you all at the same time. i don't know what to say, so i am not going to say anything but,

i am thinking of you & your mom & your family.

- elz

elz said...

oh my gosh. i am so sorry and so sad and so angry for you all at the same time. i don't know what to say, so i am not going to say anything but,

i am thinking of you & your mom & your family.

- elz

Amanda Julia said...

Chelsea, I am so sorry for what you are going through. There are no words. You and your family are in my prayers.

Ashley said...

It's so hard to even read this beautiful letter to your mom, that I can't even imagine what you are going through. Just know that you have so much support from SO many people and everyone is thinking and praying for you and your family. We all know your heart, even if just from reading your blog- and that speaks volumes about who you are and how you write. You're such a strong, genuine person. I know that no matter how much longer you have with your mom on earth, you will continue to shine with her spirit, and that is such a wonderful thing. Love ya, girl.

xoxo

ashley said...

hey girl...i stepped away from blogging for a bit and when i came back this is the first thing i read. i'm so so sorry to hear about what's going on with your mother. you are such a strong woman and i know you will get through this. i'm crying for your pain and praying for your heart and for your mom.

all my love,

ashley

Julie Marie said...

tears streamed down my cheeks as i read this... just stumbled across your blog.. i am so sorry for this pain you are feeling.. you and your family. i pray for Gods peace and strength and loving arms wrapped around you all..

Leanna Vera said...

My dear, I am thinking about you and sending so much love to you and your family. I lost my dad to stomach cancer back in November and while I don't know exactly how you're feeling, I do know how difficult news like this is. When I was ready, talking about it helped me make sense of it all. If you ever want to talk to someone please don't hesitate to email me <3 omgimbackindc@gmail.com

Tara said...

Chelsea! Sweetheart, I just read your post. I've been away and the first thing I read was this. I am sooooo terribly sorry for what is going on in your life. My prayers are with you and your family in this difficult time.
XOXO
Tara Ashley

Anonymous said...

Keep strong, Chelsea. Thinking of you and your lovely momma.

Genevra said...

Praying for strength, peace, and comfort for you and your mother. Remember you are surrounded by love!

Kathy Schneider said...

Sending love your way!

Just Kerry said...

Love and light to you and yours... I find so much inspiration in you and your strength... My heart goes out to you at this time. You can do this!

Tammy @ Lemons, Avocados & the Bay said...

Aw Chelsea, there are no words that will make this better, but please know everyone in this little community of ours is praying for you and wishing you and your family peace during this horrible time. Seriously, I cried when I read this post :(

Sending you and your family lots and lots of prayers..

Kayla said...

My heart breaks for you :( I just fought cancer myself and it is such an ugly, ugly disease. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your mom and your family but I am so glad you are all so close and love each other so much. Your mom will always be with you.

Sending healing thoughts and prayers to all of you.

Nicci said...

Sending much love and healing to you and your family.

Amy G. said...

How unimaginably awful. Sending you prayers, love, and light on this painful journey.

Anonymous said...

Chelsea, you are such an inspiration. Stay strong, beautiful!

Emily Hornburg said...

Sometimes we don't have words. And we can't go back.

Which is what sucks about life sometimes.

But you CAN be there NOW. That's what's important now - and I think from what I can tell, that's what you are doing. You are being there, now, with your mom. And you can remember how wonderful has been.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time! Hold on.

Caroline said...

I hope you're able to spend some quality time with your mother and say everything you want to each other while you have some time left.

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine what you are going through right now Chelsea. You, your mom, and your family are in our thoughts and we are sending love, strength, and courage your way. You have reminded me of just how precious life, and our mothers, are.

Peace and Love.

Meagen Breanna said...

You're going through such hard things. Your strength is a strength to all those around you. Yes, you may feel weak, but from the outside you are so strong!

carole said...

I lost my mom at 23. If you ever need someone to talk to who TOTALLY understands this pain, feel free to email me. {carolegoeller at gmail dot come}
Your letter if beautiful. Your mom is lucky to have you as her beloved daughter.

Kate said...

Dear Chelsea,
You and your Mama are in my prayers. Know you are loved by a wonderful God who's listening to our prayers for you.

Jenny said...

Sending lots of love and prayers your way Chelsea! You are amazing <3

Lesa said...

Chelsea--my heart hurts for this situation! Praying for God's comfort and healing! Stay strong!

loopyseven said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you go through this difficult time. Your letter was a beautiful testament to your mother-daughter relationship.

Michelle said...

My heart is breaking for you and your family. It is incredibly hard loosing someone that has been your rock.

Treasure every movement and memory and she will always be with you!

Sending my best wishes!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Chelsea. My heart is hurting for you. Reading your beautiful words and tribute to your mom, I actually felt that you were embodying her strength. Know that she loves you, she is so proud of you, and that you will always be her greatest gift, as she is to you. I am praying for you and your family during this awful time.

Anonymous said...

So much love your way right now,
Much thoughts and prayers your way
xxx

Jessica said...

Sending hugs and prayers and love and comfort to you. There are many people here for you; lean on them as much as you need to right now and in the weeks and months to come.

steph anne said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My thoughts are with you!

wewon31 said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. Carry your mom with you and you will feel her strength to get through this and any other life challenge...you will also feel the pride she most certainly has in you. Take care.

erika icon said...

Chelsea, all the good you have done for others by having a motivational blog will come back to you. I know it's been a rough time for you and it will get better. My prayers are with you and your mother. I will chant for you both (that's how we Buddhists pray). Take care of yourself. And a big virtual hug to you!

Susannah said...

Chelsea... my heart is breaking into a million pieces for you right now. So much heartache is such a young person. I cannot imagine how difficult your days are right now. In reading your beautiful words, it is clear that the love you and your mother share is the foundation upon which you have built your entire life and that is something that will be with you every step you take for the rest of your days. I'm wishing you both peace and comfort for the road ahead, however long or short it may be.

Emily said...

Hi Chelsea, sending lots of love to you. first, i'm very sorry for what has happened. my advice: Go do what you love. Write something. Teach something. Make the world a better place, it will make your life ten times brighter.
Good luck to an amazing, beautiful, strong woman!

OhMyHeart said...

Chelsea, Your love for your mom just jumps off the page. It is a terrible, sad, no-good reminder to truly love and appreciate everyone we love. Thank you.
Love, Emma

Julie said...

I can't imagine being in your shoes and I'm so sorry that you are faced with this reality. I am 100% certain that your mom feels the strength of your love and is comforted by that. I am also sure that you will continue to feel her love surrounding you throughout the rest of your life. I am thinking of you and your family and praying for peace of heart and mind for all of you.

Ladylinden said...

Chelsea, your talents in writing are evident. I think you should immerse yourself in them in your time of emotional distress. In the meantime I send waves of healing and positivity your way. Continue in your strength and bravery and we will all be standing by you.

Anna said...

I wish that I could give you a giant hug in the midst of all of the heartbreak that you are now experiencing. My own heart aches and my eyes fill with tears from just reading it, and I have only just read your story minutes ago. I am so sorry for the place you now find yourself. I'm sending you lots of love and a million wishes for some hope and peace during this time.

Gail said...

Chelsea, sending thoughts and prayers to you and your mom. I can relate to a time of transitions - things that scare the pants off you in the moment. Yet these very things can often be the biggest gifts of all (usually in hindsight). Be strong and lean into your faith.

Anonymous said...

Your love for your mom is amazing. Glad you have good memories with her- and prayers with you.

Anonymous said...

Chelsea,

I can't even imagine the pain you are going through. As someone who lost her mom a couple years ago when I was 17, I understand how terrified you must be at the prospect with living without her. From the sound of your blog, you seem like an incredibly strong and grounded woman who is going to survive these struggles and make your mom very proud. Wishing you and your family nothing but peace in these trying times.

Hugs,
Jess

Eleanor said...

Such a beautiful beautiful love letter to your mum. She's absolutely right, your writing is gorgeous and I hope you read this letter to her one day. I've come here via Love Bomb today and want to let you know that you are so so loved and my thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family over the next few days from across the ocean. Take care. x

Anonymous said...

Chelsea may find the Lord to give you strength through this painful time in your life. I am praying for you. God Bless. Lynda

Anna Elizabeth said...

Hugs, love and light to you, your mom and your family. You sound like such an incredible young woman and I truly wish you peace. Whatever happens, I'm sure your mom is so incredibly proud of you, as is everyone else who has read this post and gotten a glimpse of your strength and grace through such trying times.

Rachel said...

There must not be any easy way to go through what you are going through. Your mom is lucky to have you and she, you.

"Make yourself familiar with the angels, and behold them frequently in spirit; for without being seen, they are present with you.
-Saint Francis de Sales

Sandy said...

Losing a parent is the hardest. Sending many prayers to you as you traverse this most difficult time in your life.

Anonymous said...

Lots and lots of love to you, your mom and family. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUG)))

putter said...

Thank you for reminding me how very precious our time is here on earth with those we love...to never take this time for granted. Blessings to your family as you prepare for the days/months/years ahead.

Anonymous said...

Sending love and healing Chelsea, your heart is of pure gold. Trust in the Lord and his angels, all that is going is for a higher intention - your mother will be freed of her suffering, your beauty will reach people and places in her honour perhaps previously unfathomable. May your journey be painless and true. x

MamaFeelgood said...

Thank you for sharing this. I swear that I'm going to go home tonight and hug my son & tell him that I love him just because I can.
Your words are so beautiful and your mom has to know how much you love her.

mamagaytko said...

Your mother is right, you are such a talented writer! My thoughts are with both of you during this time and I pray you both find peace and strength in each other <3

Chelsea J said...

I am so sorry for your heartache, Chelsea. I wish I could say something to take the hurt away, but cancer is vicious and unfair. I'm sure your mom delights in your bright spirit and loving kindness more than you'll ever know. And never underestimate the strengths you possess! Sending tons of hugs and prayers to you, from one Chelsea to another :)

Veronica said...

Chelsea,
I have loved reading this sweet letter to your mom. It's so personal, yet you were so willing to share with everyone. That takes great courage. There are so many things in this life that are absolute. But, I do not believe death is one of them. I believe that we will see our loved ones again. I believe that those relationships that are so precious to us in this life, will continue in the life to come. And I'm grateful for the peace that brings. May you feel the peace that only the Lord can bring. May you feel strengthened, loved and supported by many.

ccarson429 said...

Hi, I hope your mom gets better super soon. My mom is one of my best friends, and I know if I lost her I would be devastated. I know she will pull through this for you and you guys will continue to have amazing memories together.
Love from Baltimore

Anonymous said...

Chelsea,

Prayers and love are being sent your way. Cherish each moment with your mother, as you clearly have, and know that she will always be with you. God Bless you all.

Michelle and Piers said...

What a stunning entry Chelsea. You have captured both your own and the universal heartbreak that comes with facing the loss of those most treasured and close to us with such poignancy and beauty. It has brought tears to my eyes. Im sending lots of strength, love and resilience to you and to you mum in this immensely difficult time, and I thank you so much for sharing this journey. xx

Anonymous said...

Chelsea,

May you find love, peace and comfort during this difficult time.

May the light of God surround you, May the love of God enfold you and may the presence of God watch over you and your family.

Nikhil said...

Chelsea,
We don't know each other. I have only now stumbled upon your blog. There are so many things I would like to say, or express, but I cannot find the words. I know you are handling this situation better than I would be able to handle. My relationship with my family and friends means the world to me. Your mother is proud of you. She is happy for you, she would never want your suffering to be a part of your life. It's tough to go out into the world without her there, but she will always be there...right there by you whenever you need someone to talk to or someone to believe. I am sorry you have to go through this at such a young age. You are a strong individual with amazing writing skills...allow those skills to breathen opportunity for you...

Anonymous said...

You are a wonderful child of God and you are loved!! Remember to keep your thoughts happy and fill your life with optimistic things :)

Anonymous said...

You have an incredible gift with words and your strength is so inspiring. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this and it's not fair on any of your family, but just know that you are surrounded with love and comfort and that you have the ability to make it through.
"To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die." - Thomas Campbell

Pink Lightning said...

I can tell that you are a strong woman. Stay strong through this and keep blessing your mom with your spirit. Stay strong Chelsea, it will get better.

Pink Lightning said...

I can tell that you are a strong woman. Stay strong through this and keep blessing your mom with your spirit. Stay strong Chelsea, it will get better.

Anonymous said...

So very sorry that you and your family are going through this. I can't even imagine the emotions you're dealing with. Your letter is so heart-felt and beautiful. As hard as it is to lose a beloved parent, I imagine your mother will go in peace knowing how loved she is. Wishing you and your family strength, peace, and comfort.
Valerie

Andrea said...

I'm so sorry, Chelsea. What a horrible thing to have sprung on you. I'm praying for strength and peace for you and your family. Take care.

Just me said...

You are so strong for writing this out & posting it. I know you will have touched many lives. I am so, so sorry for what you're going through. This post is all I know of you so far but already I know you surely are doing and will continue to do your mum proud. Praying for you & your family x x

Anonymous said...

I am SO sorry to hear this devastating news about your mom. My mom and I are very close, always have been, and I can't imagine the pain you are going through. You are a beautiful young woman with such an open heart. I pray that God blesses you and your family and carries you through this difficult time. Prayers, LOVE and hugs from Green Bay, WI.

Anonymous said...

You are strong, just like your mother. Thoughts are prayers to you and your family. And love and hugs, because that's all that can be offered at a time like this.

Anonymous said...

Hey Chelsea,

I'm sending you and your family love and prayers today, lifting you all up in prayer to the light.

May you be carried through this journey. God Bless your sweet Momma, and God Bless you. Sounds like you have had such a beautiful relationship and life with your Mom, and love like that never goes anywhere. Peace be with you x x x

Anonymous said...

You and your family will be in my thoughts. I wish you grace and peace during this difficult time.

Maureen said...

I am so sorry about what you are going through, Chelsea. I wish you and your mother peace.

Anonymous said...

Sending you love and strength during this heartbreaking time.

I'll be giving my mom a phone call tonight to tell her I love her. Thank you for reminding me how previous our times with our moms are.

Anonymous said...

You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers!

Anonymous said...

Dear Chelsea,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. your strength for posting this is evident and i hope you will keep your optimism. i don't know what you are going through do i won't assume but you seem like a lovely person and my prayers and love will be with you

BKmommy06 said...

I am so sorry :( Your mom and your family will be in my thoughts.

midoriajisai said...

Chelsea, I know that feeling of love and sorrow but Jehovah is a restorer and shelter in difficult times. I pray for peace, continued strengths and understanding for you and your family during this difficult season of life; sending prayers and hugs your way!

Anonymous said...

Your Mum is obviously a wonderful woman and an incredible source of inspiration and strength for you to have learnt to be this strong for her in her time of need. I'm so sorry to read what you and your family are going through xxx

Anonymous said...

Sending love, strength, and prayers for you and your mom.

Anonymous said...

May you gather strength, solace and courage from all your supporters. Sending loving thoughts your way.

Betty said...

Chelsea, you and your family are in my prayers. May God give you his strength over the coming days and provide you only the comfort that he is able to give. My heart breaks for you and will pray for you through the coming days.

Gwindalyn said...

Chelsea, I just want to let you know that this will be inevitable. And I'm glad you've accepted that. In the words of my Theatre teacher after the death of one of our school's students, God will take your mother to a better place, because she can't be all that she was on Earth now. She has to go. Her soul will be free, and I know that sounds utterly cliche. But I send the biggest hugs, and I can't even begin to imagine how you feel. Try to take this with as much grace as possible, but when the times comes let yourself grief. Lots of love your way.
- Gwin

Anonymous said...

Chelsea,

Few words can describe how truly impressive you are, sharing your thoughts and feelings must be desperately hard at this time but you and your Mom's story is important! So please keep sharing! We are blessed to have been able to know your mom through your eyes...

Love and light to you

Trashstar
Xx

mary said...

What a beautiful piece. May every breath bring you and your family peace and comfort in this challenging time. Much love and light to you.

Anonymous said...

I cannot even begin to imagine what journey you are on right now, let alone what personal path your mom is walking right now - all I can say is that, from the sounds of it, you have been blessed with a beautiful soul companion on this Earth who has taught you lessons no one else possibly could have. Perhaps there are more for you to learn, and she'll stick around to see them through for you - or perhaps you'll discover the wisdom she left behind for you years down the road... no one really knows that but you and her.
I pray that you cherish every moment with her on this Earth, and every moment thereafter, continuing to expand into peace and acceptance for all that is

Akshita said...

I can't even imagine the pain you must be going through right now. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Be strong and stay positive, all will be well. Cherish these last few days! Know that we are all thinking of your family.

amberllina said...

Positive thoughts and good vibes your way!

Lovebomber from Mexico.
Ambar

jremps said...

You are inspiring! Love from Vancouver.

yogadanceflow said...

Chelsea, nerver Ever doubt the love that you Carry in your heart. Its the most prescious force on earth and your love Will Always keep your mother and you close to eachother, cause Its one and the same love. Love is going to heal both you and your mother through this. You are such a gift to this world. <3

jenny miller said...

Chelsea, so sorry to hear about your mom's cancer returning. I am happy for her though, because she obviously has a great support system and alot of love around her. That is HUGE! Praying for you all.

Anonymous said...

Dear sweet Chelsea,

Your mother is right in saying that you have been blessed with the gift of writing. Even in such a tough situation, the words are poignant and resonate within all our hearts.

Nobody can claim to fully comprehend the pain you must be feeling (and I won't even try), but I want you to know that you're not alone.

The Love Bomb squad is here to let you know that you are loved, and that you are in our thoughts, hearts and prayers.

You're not walking alone.

May God's love and peace fill & envelope your family in this difficult time.

Saying a prayer for you today :)

Gloria

Anonymous said...

Dear Chelsea,

I've only just discovered your blog but already I like it and you! Your warmth and enthusiasm shine through. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. She must be so proud to have raised a daughter like you and how many sweet and precious memories you share. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Angie xxxx

Rissa said...

"Each today, well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow a vision of hope. Look, therefore, to this one day, for it and it alone is life." -- Sanskrit poem

Hi Chelsea,

What's good with you? That might seem like an odd greeting considering the content of your post, but I believe that it is important to recognize the things that are going right in our lives and to be grateful for them. I hope that even at this difficult time that there is some silver lining for you and that you can find at least a reason or two to smile:) I'm sorry for you and your family that your mom got this diagnosis. She is right about your gift with words. You have your memories with your mom, and she has memories with you. I'm glad that you're appreciating the present moment with her, even though it's difficult for you. I'm positive that she knows that you love her, and that she loves you as well. As they say in Morocco, tHllay f rask (ta ha lie ef raa sick..."take care of your head").

Wishing you peace and love,
Rissa

Anonymous said...

Chelsea,

You have a beautiful relationship with your mother. As hard as it will be to lose her physical presence, she will always be with you. She is part of you- and that will not pass away with her.

Cherish these moments, as you so obviously have cherished all the previous moments.

With much love and all the hugs you will need.
Me

Maria Geno said...

Chelsea,

I could feel every word that you wrote in your letter. Your Mother is a very blessed woman to have such a loving, brave daughter. You, Your Mom and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong and know that you are loved.

(((HUGS)))

Maria

Sammy said...

May your warmest memories bring you comfort to what was clearly a most beautiful life lived.

Much, much love,
Sam

Jenni@Story of My Life said...

Oh Chelsea... my eyes are filled with tears for you... I am so, so sorry. There are just no words.

Christine Hansen said...

Oh Chelsea, I am so very sorry you, your mom, and your family are going through this. I'm sending love and light to you all, for comfort and strength.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry that you are going through this, Chelsea. I can't even imagine the pain you are feeling. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Who did it? said...

My heart truly goes out to you and your family. I know that no matter what happens with your mom that she is proud of you now and will always be watching over you and will still be proud of all that you will continue to accomplish. Tears welled up in my eyes as I read your blog. Your mother is right you are a wonderful writer! Your mother, your brother, yourself & the rest of your family are in my prayers. I wish you comfort, strength & faith as you go through this difficult time. Remember to lean on your friends at this time and times ahead. I wish I could just be there to give you a hug & help support you as you go through this. I'm so sorry for what you are going through I wish there was something more I could do but I will pray.

Deb Chitwood said...

Dear Chelsea,

My heart breaks for you and your family. Your beautiful words brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry for what you're all having to go through, and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Sending lots of love and hugs from Colorado Springs,
Deb

Debbie said...

Praying for you and your family - cancer seems to be everywhere and always taking loved ones too soon. *Love Bomb*

Lloyd and Bonnie from California said...

Dear precious Chelsea,
The love you and your dear mother shares is so wonderfully evident. There is life after a divorce. We have been married for 53 years but we experienced the divorce of our middle son. There is also life after losing a loved one. Our oldest son, Steven,37, drowned saving his 6 year old daughter from drowning.
It took time but we are now more in love with Jesus, life, and each other than ever before. Isaiah 57:15 greatly comforted us. Chelsea, you appear to be an excellent and beautiful young lady with a bright future. Jesus loves you and we love you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Chelsea,

There's not a lot anyone can say, right now, to lessen your burden--but that said? There is a lot of love (and hope, and good vibes) heading your way. The world is pretty good at curveballs, which is pretty stinky, but...but. That's what friends and family and those who love you are for.

It's a sort of sad idea, but maybe you'd like to do an interview or something of the sort? A chance for your mom to say something to someone if they couldn't make it, or to any future grandkids. A thought.

At any rate, you're in my thoughts.

Love,
Katharine

Hannah said...

I'm so sorry that you are going through this, my heart goes out to you and your family. Wishing you strength x

The VIKING!!! said...

Hi Chelsea,

Keep playing in the sun until it gets dark ;)

All the best!

Daniel said...

Chelsea - I lost my father in October. I'm so sorry to read about your mother. I am sending you my love.

Daniel

Anonymous said...

oh chelsea, your letter to your mom went right to my heart. went through this last year with my dad. so hard. sounds like your mom is surrounded by loads of love. she is right about your fabulousness with words! sending you so much peace and hugs from borneo (the sunsets are amazing here - will send you a photo). gen via lovebomb xo

Anonymous said...

Sending you and your family so much love and light at this difficult time Chelsea. You are being held in thoughts and prayers.
C.S.

Anonymous said...

sending you so much love Chelsea! you are such an incredibly strong person, and you'll always have your mama. <3

Jonathan Ruth said...

Chelsea - Wow...that was beautifully written. I don't know what to say. There's no way to make any of this easier. It's a pain we go through in life that has no simple answers. I do pray that God will comfort and strengthen you, your mom, your entire family. I pray you get as much time with her as possible, and that every second is precious and wonderfully remembered! May God giver her peace through this time as well. It's very clear that you cherish each other! That is very special thing and will carry you a long way. I know in many ways she will never leave you, and will be with you in your memories and spirit until you are united again in Heaven.

God bless!
- Jonathan

Giacomo said...

Chelsea, you are amazing! I'm a United States Marine, and I don't know if I could have the courage to write about my mother's possible relapsed for all the world to see. And to suffer the loss of your marriage right on the heels of this trying time, calls to mind an inner strength that is unrivaled.

I pray in the name of Yahushua (Jesus) for your mother's healing and that the two of you would continue in your great relationship for many years to come! Be blessed and highly favored today!

Micaela said...

Sending loads and loads of love and strength to you and your family. I can't even imagine how it feels for you. Be blessed xxx

Micaela said...

Sending loads and loads of love and strength to you and your family. I can't even imagine how it feels for you. Be blessed xxx

Lola said...

Stay strong, Chelsea!

Anonymous said...

Chelsea, I'm so sorry for this pain and shock you are going through. I'm praying that God wraps His loving arms around you, your mom, and the rest of your family. Your letter is beautiful. It has truly touched and inspired me to become closer to my own mother. I know that letting go will be one of the hardest challenges you face, but just know that she will be free from the pain and enjoying perfect happiness in Heaven. I hope you find peace during these days that you have with your mom and are able to let her know how much you love her.

Melissa Marie said...

No matter our age, losing a mother is one of the hardest things any of us can ever face. One thing that has given me a lot of comfort after losing my mom (almost 6 years ago, when I was 29), was that I took video and sound recordings of some of our conversations. I did it when she was sick and we knew she didn't have much time left, but especially in the voice recordings, when I listen to them she still sounds like I remember her. And takes me back to happier times.
Thinking of you and wishing you strength and grace and love.

princesslila said...

My heart truly goes out to you and your family. I think that I'm around your age and to even imagine losing my mother right now - I just can't.

I don't know what else to say except that you are a strong, positive, and beautiful woman and I'm praying for you and your mom.
<3

Anonymous said...

Sending you lots of love and positive energy! xoxo

Royar said...

There are no words to say other than that I am praying for you and your family and I am so sorry! XO

whit said...

thoughts are with you.

Megan said...

sweet sweet girl...im just utterly heartbroken for you...i know there are not enough comforting words in the world to fill the heartache you are experiencing..know that I (as well as the hundreds here) are here for you, sending you so much love and prayers. You are an amazing and wonderful woman, a woman your mother is lucky to call a daughter..i know she is smiling upon you..proud.

xxx

Erin said...

Chelsea,
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I lost my mom very suddenly & unexpectedly 8 yrs ago. She was only 66. I longed to say so many things to her, to hear her voice and feel her hugs. All these years later, I think of her everyday. I see her in my children, I hear her singing when I play her old albums, I feel her presence when I go to the beach. I guess what I'm trying to say is that she is with me always. And though sometimes I weep for missing her, I live my life with joy like she would want me to. I pray that as you have time with your mom, you will both get to say all the things you want to say. You will hug & kiss, feel her skin and see her face light up at the sight of you!
I pray that you have peace and calm to help your mom through these days.
Blessings,
~Erin

Bird said...

Chelsea, stay strong. For yourself and for your mom. Your optimism and strong spirit will prevail.

Laura said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
May God give you strength and peace at this time, and may He surround you with His love.
Much love xx

DonnaRey said...

Stay strong, you are great. It will be okay no matter what happens. Things may be hard, but you will get through. Remember how you have gotten through hardships in the past and draw on that strength, because you do have it.

pubentz said...

O Chelsea. There are no words. Praying hard for all of you. Just remember to rely completely on God. He will get all of you through this!

The Lord hears His people when they call to him. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and He rescues those whose spirit is crushed. Psalm 34: 17-18

Anonymous said...

You are amazing. I'm in awe of your strength! Even when you feel weak or unable you pull through, which is true strength. Enough to make so many strangers take time out of their day to comment and send you love and support from across the country (:

Tamara said...

Chelsea, I can't imagine the pain you must be going through right now. I pray that you will feel God's presence more than ever before during this difficult time. Stay strong and keep trusting in Him.
Much love and many hugs. x

Cova said...

Your letter is so beautiful that it made me cry and envy your for all you lived with your mom. My heart aches for your pain but just thank God for having such a great mom and think that all your memories will be with you forever.
You and your family will be in my prayers.
Love from Cova.

Anonymous said...

You are incredibly brave, thank you for sharing this. My thoughts are with you and your family, sending you much love.x

Anonymous said...

Dear Chelsea,

May I just say, that I myself am experiencing a difficult time in my life as well. For what it is worth, I truly believe that you are not alone and reading your blog helps me to move forward.

I would like to send my love and support your way today. May your faith in God remain as well as your inspirational attitude. Thank you for publicizing your hardship, in some way, it makes us all stronger and grow together.

Wishing you the best, stay strong.

-Monika

Tammie powers said...

Chelsea,
You are Beautiful,
You are Strong,
You are Smart,
You are Kind,
AND YOU ARE LOVED
AND ALWAYS WILL BE
peace to You and Your Family

Lu said...

Chelsea,
I am saddened that you and your family have to go through this very difficult time. Your Mom was a real fighter to have lived so long in remission. You too show the same copurage and determination. I send you and your family my prayers and love as you go through this difficult time.
God Bless,
Lu

Anonymous said...

Wishing you love and strength...
Meg :)

Casey said...

I loved this post so much I featured it for Lots of Link Love over at my blog, Stress Case.

Lots of Link Love is a biweekly link-up where we spotlight our fellow bloggers for exceptional posts they have written over the weeks.

I would love if you shared that you had been spotlighted (there's a button you can use!) and if you considered linking up with me for the next Lots of Link Love on Thursday, March 8th!

http://stresscasey.blogspot.com/2012/02/lots-of-link-love_22.html

xoxo
Casey

Anonymous said...

May you one day find comfort in your memories Chelsea and feel lucky to have known your mother for so long. For now, it's okay to be hurt, sad, angry and in despair. It will pass, but your love for your mother will not.

bluegrassnotes said...

Seeing you and your mom surrounded in loving light. Love to you both. Leigh

Corinne said...

Hello Chelsea - came over here from Whit's blog.
This post had me in tears - I cannot imagine what you and your family must be going through. I will definitely be keeping you and your family and your mother in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Hey there, just wanted to send some love your way :)

lindsey anne said...

Hi Chelsea!

I admire your positivity so much-- never lose that strength girl! Your love for your mom is unbreakable! And I can tell through just one blog post:)

Anonymous said...

Your love for your mother radiates from your words...this letter is truly a wonderful testiment to that. I too lost my dear mum to cancer so I hope you don't mind me sending all my empathy and many caring thoughts that I can to you during this difficult time. So, so, sorry...

Katie said...

It broke my heart reading this. I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine what your family went through. God bless you and your family, and your sweet momma who I know is watching over you now and forever. *hugs*

Brittanie said...

Chelsea, I've read over this post and several like it so many times. It breaks my heart a little more every time I re-read it, but today it hit extra hard as my best friend found out the amount of time she has left with her dad. I'm not sure how to be there for her when I can't physically, but if you have any advice or suggestions, I'm all ears.

Whether you're posting about decorating, memories, or life in general, I'm a big fan!

Katie Did What said...

Oh Chelsea, I'm just reading this for the first time, and just crying my eyes out. I wish I could hug you. Your words. Your words are my words. It's crazy and I just love you and think of you often <3 I know this is old, but I still felt compelled to comment.

xo