Wednesday, June 20, 2012

A Vegas Goodbye

Now, here's the last of Vegas. [Find the first two recaps here and here.] Also, I'm being featured today on Hollie's blog. You'll be sure to learn a thing or two about me so head on over there, too :)

Back to the recap. Since the Neon Boneyard had been such an unexpected disappointment, luckily, I had planned out another [and final] fun day for us. Thanks to my go-to Vegas girl Katy, I heard about the Shark Tank pool at the Golden Nugget and HAD to go! I have absolutely zero desire to ever swim with sharks, pet a shark, etc. so I really have no idea why this appealed to me so much. Maybe because it’s AWESOME? How many times can you say you’ve gone down a slide that went straight through a shark tank?!

So, we woke up and headed downtown to the Golden Nugget. If you’re not a hotel guest, it costs $20 a pop to get in. It probably would have been worth it if we could have stayed all day, but we were only there for 2 hours or so. The chaise lounges are super comfy, but limited. So, the earlier you get there, the more prime real estate you can get.

Soon after arriving, we were headed for the shark tank! We climbed the stairs and off we went, down the slide! The slide is enclosed and yellow but toward the end, everything goes kind of dark until you’re hurled into the pool. I didn’t realize it the first time going down, but the dark area is the shark tank! It happens so fast you can’t really see anything but it’s still fun! Now, this shark tank is smack dab in the middle of the pool. So, not only can you see all the colorful fish and big sharks through the glass, but you can watch other people go down the slide!




Another cool touch the pool had were the chaise lounges in the water! There’s a very shallow section of water with about a dozen white chairs in it, allowing you to lie out in the sun while also feeling the refreshing cool water!

The rest of the day progressively went downhill. I started realizing that all the hopes I had had for this being a refreshing trip of growth and togetherness were being put out by reality. The reality was, I saw the same man I had left eight months earlier in Utah. I was so afraid to admit it to myself – that he hadn’t changed, that I was still so unhappy with the way he treated me; the way he treated life. As the hours of our last full day together passed, that reality crept in. It was a painful, heart-wrenching blow to see that after all this time, and all the hope I had in my heart, I still had made the right decision to end our marriage.  Everyone wants to believe in love. Everyone wants to see the good – to see two people work hard at repairing something that had been shattered. I wanted SO badly to believe that that could happen. But it didn't.

Later on, we headed off to dinner at The Hard Rock Hotel followed by an evening on Fremont Street. The Fremont Street Experience is a must! I had wanted to visit this place for so long. The canopy that hangs above the street is the largest LED screen in the world! Every 15 minutes or so, a new “show” starts and everything around you stops as everyone looks up to watch and listen to a medley of music from artists such as Bon Jovi and Queen.







Then, once the show is over and the lights come back up, all the street performers start up again. But these street performers are the real deal – unlike the trash you’ll see on The Strip. There was an Al Pacino impersonator, Ozzy Osbourne, Stevie Wonder. You name it, they were there and they were GOOD! There are amazing street artists, saxophonists, and concerts going on all simultaneously. Quite the “Experience!” Has anyone ever done the zipline down Fremont? Is it worth it?

After a while, we left and went for a drive, although the time was filled mainly with silence. My eyes felt like they were constantly welled with tears as the reality finally sunk in for good. This was it. I could have listed a hundred different ways that he continued to hurt me and be so careless with my heart. But that was it. Through the loss of my mom and the end of my marriage, I learned something important: Sometimes time changes nothing at all.

I packed my bag that next morning, with this feeling in my gut that I couldn’t ignore. This was really it. No matter how many times he told me we’d continue to see where things went, it’s like my heart already knew this was the last chapter. I sat and waited as he showered and packed, checking my watch as time sped past. I had a flight to catch but that didn’t seem to phase him as he went along his merry way. For the first time ever in my life, I missed my flight. We had arrived at the airport too late for me to check in. He, of course, still managed to make his flight back to the city where we once lived together. After I hurriedly figured out a new flight leaving an hour later, we walked toward Security. We kissed, said, “I love you” and just like that… I knew that would be our final goodbye.

Goodbye, Vegas. Goodbye, love.

23 comments:

Hilary said...

I admire for you trying so hard to make it work. So many people just give up so quick and soon that you can't help but wonder if they have regret. But at least you can look back and say you gave it everything and it just wasn't meant to be. You will love again :)

Ashley @ The Sweet Life said...

You won't ever have a chance to regreat NOT trying it again. I hope that helps your heart. Just You're so lucky to have seen the reality of the situation and not to be sucked in with a cloud over your eyes. You WILL find a true love, and when you do you'll be a stronger YOU. Keep your chin up! We all can't wait to see the next great thing (or hottie) happen to you :)

Shayna said...

Oh Chelsea! My heart goes out to you. You are such a strong woman! Hopefully at this point you can find peace in knowing that you did everything in your power to make your marriage work & at that's what counts. Hugs & prayers for you my friend as you find everything you need to move forward with life.

The Michelle Show said...

It hurts so much, but do you feel at all better knowing in your heart that there are no more what if's?

Brooke said...

The shark slide sounds so terrifying and wonderful haha. And I just read your post over on Hollie's blog, and it's great!

Happy Wednesday :)

Emily @ Raines and Shines said...

i love going downtown vegas!

Carolyn said...

I saw that shark tank pool when we were in Vegas! I didn't know you could pay to go to it! Cool!

I'm so sorry about the relationship not working. I commend you for giving it a second shot, and also for realizing that the relationship is not what you want. I can't believe he let you miss your flight. :(

CALLIE said...

Such a brave thing for you to do to Give your relationship a second chance. I admire you so much and I know God has a great plan for you!! He is working up something spectacular.

Kristen said...

i'm so sorry love. your statement about how sometimes time doesn't change anything really hit home for me. it's sad but true, somethings never really change. just keep moving forward, you're such an amazing woman and the Lord has a plan for you.

Holly said...

Aw, Chelsea. My heart goes out to you as you come to this realization. You're right; sometimes time doesn't heal anything. I will not pretend to understand what this must be like for you, but I will be there to give you the support you need. No cheesy "you're better off without him" line. Because that's something you have to figure out and decide for yourself. But treat yourself well and someone else will too. You deserve happiness; refuse to settle. Love you!

Olga said...

I'm so sorry Chelsea! I know it's hard to let go of the idea of love. I tried over and over again to make things work with my ex, when it was clearly not working. Sometimes you just have to LET GO & let go for good.

Raquel said...

Awww Chelsea my heart is seriously breaking for you :( It's so hard to let go of people you love and care so much about. But I like to think of it as "everything happens for a reason." It's so cliche, but I wholeheartedly believe in it!

Btw, that shark tank looks AMAZING!

ms.composure said...

stumbled onto your blog and just wanted to show some blog luv! def enjoyed this post! im suppose to go to Vegas in August and i am SO SO SO excited! New follower via email :-)

http://infinitelifefitness.com
http://mscomposure.blogspot.com

Kristin said...

I admire your strength!!

Shannon said...

Your Vegas trip and the parallels of our lives are super eerie to me.

My ex husband and I went to Vegas on a delayed "honeymoon" of sorts, 6 months after we got married. I almost left him back in Texas. We had some of the most horrible days and weeks leading to that trip but ultimately decided maybe, just maybe this would be the thing we needed to refresh, recoup, and come back with a better outlook on our marriage. I had SO MUCH HOPE in that trip, just like you did. It was miserable. Long story short, it was really when I knew our marriage was over too. I had been to Vegas 2 or 3 times before with boyfriends, guy friends, etc. and had 1,000 times a better experience...which sent me a million red flags. This was my HUSBAND!!!!

Anyway, thank you for sharing this with everyone...including me. So crazy we had a similar Vegas experience.

Sheri said...

Hi Chelsea, it sounds like you need to move on and good for you for being brave enough to do what's best for YOU! xo

Take care!

chelsea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chelsea said...

you have to do what's best for you. and you have to be happy in order to be happy with anyone else. i admire your strength.

Cori H. said...

Chelsea, thank you so much for sharing your story! Life is too short to be anything but happy, and it sounds like you made the best decision!

K_stets said...

You know I'm sorry girl!!! I'm happy and sad for you. But glad that you have figured out an end to that chapter of your life. I know that so many great things are ahead for you. Life is a beautiful struggle.

I also really hope you get another chance to come out here and have some real fun...hint...hint. ;)

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I stumbled across your blog today, I really needed to read this. I recently ended my relationship with my boyfriend of 6 years. We had taken a break last summer and got back together this fall with the hope of things really being different. But like you said, somethings never change.

Thinking about you!

Jessica

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