The other night, as I was getting ready for bed, reflecting on a lot of the big changes that are currently taking place and where I am in life right now, I started thinking about change. More specifically, about how much I have changed as a person. It kind of freaked me out for a second. Like, holy sh*t! I used to be that girl?
I looked back at my life three years ago. Three years. Not too long ago but still a significant amount of time has passed since then. And, well, everything about me has changed. Errrrythang.
The state that I live in.
My hair color.
My marital status.
My thought process.
My ability to handle uncertainty.
Yep, now you're understanding why I had a "holy sh*t" moment. Everything in my entire life has changed. And then I discovered why. It's not that I have changed, necessarily; that somehow I just became a magical new person and knew how to be happy and surround myself with awesome people and go after my dreams and not give a flying you-know-what what anybody else thinks. No.
Instead, I did something that sounds really simple but for those of you who've been through it too, you know it's easier said than done... I found myself. Really, truly. I stopped trying to impress "what's his face" and stopped comparing myself to "what's her name" and just took the time to get to know everything about myself. About my soul, my heart, my innate being.
Most importantly, I stopped trying to be what I thought I "should" be... whether by my mom's standards, my "friends'" standards, my former church's standards, society's standards, etc. and I just WAS. I AM. I can finally be. And by truthfully, authentically, organically BEING, life is constantly this exciting, amazing, captivating gift and puzzle and blast all at the same time.
This is the woman I was created to be.
Everything has changed. That's life. We wake up everyday with new opportunities and new choices to make. Those choices and shifts that we consciously make for ourselves and for our lives are what create the changes. And, little by little, on days like the one I just had, we look back and say, "holy sh*t!" Some of those changes are painful and some seem impossible to make, others are easy and natural. But, if those changes remain in harmony with our true self, we'll say that "holy sh*t" with a big grin ;)