Thursday, September 5, 2013

The Lesson of Loving Yourself First

Growing up, my mom always had little phrases and teachings that she'd say. I'm sure I'd always roll my eyes and stomp my moody teenage feet up the stairs. But ever since my mom passed away last year, I'm constantly reminded of those little phrases and teachings I'll always remember. One day, I'm going to write them all into a blog post and even better, one day I'll get to pass them onto my own children.

My mom was my biggest critic. While, yes, she was very supportive of many of the things I loved, she was also the first to critique me. Long story short, I didn't have the greatest self confidence starting in middle school all the way through college and even after. So, whenever I'd jump into a relationship and start to fall head over heels, my mom was always less than thrilled. She saw the strength, independence, and tenacity in me ever since I was a young girl and then as soon as a guy would enter my life, I'd lose myself. My happiness would depend on the relationship.

I remember my mom telling me in some form or another that before I loved another, I had to love myself. Yet, I'm sure at the time, I'd hear that, roll my eyes and stomp my feet back up those stairs. Of course I loved myself!

But I didn't. Because I didn't even know who I was. There were so many boxes I felt as though I was being forced to fit in. Pressure from the outside world to be somebody that wasn't really me. Oddly enough, it wasn't until the death of my mother that I figured out who I really was. And I found out what it meant to really, truly love myself.


Whether you're single or not, it's such an important lesson to love yourself first. Create your own happiness. Take yourself on dates. Learn something new. Nurture your own health. Love yourself completely for your past, your flaws, your wrinkles, your scars, your strengths, your natural talents. Understand that you can rely on your own heart and that you yourself... you're enough. You're complete.

So, it's true... mama always knows best. And I'd like to think that she's proud of the woman I have become today and that she is excited (finally) to see that I'm ready now to love another... because you better believe I love myself ;)

To be continued...

13 comments:

The Pink Growl said...

Excellent advice and SO true!

Lorraine said...

This is such a powerful post. I agree with all that you said and I'm sure your mom has always been proud of who you are.

afitlittleone said...

Such a great post! I bet she's looking down on you, such a proud mother. But she was most likely always proud of you, she just wanted the best for you :)

Cassie said...

i love this and yes it's so so true! dang those moms, they do know best!

have a great day!

Vivienne Z said...

"Create your own happiness". That was my favourite part.

Kristine said...

This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks girly!

Jenn @ West Sac Honey said...

SO very very very true!!

Jenn @ A Country Girl's World said...

This is so true! People always ask me why my relationship is so happy and successful and I always tell them its because I took the time to know who I was before I started any serious dating. I traveled, I lived on my own and I learned a lot about myself before trying to get into a serious relationship. This is GREAT advice :)

Wandering Java Lover said...

Such great advice. I know I have learned those same kinds of lessons from my mom too. She also passed away a few years ago and I still find myself figuring out some of the stuff I know she wishes had sunk in a long time ago.

:-) Tabitha

Blondie said...

My mother gets smarter and smarter the older my kids get. Great words of wisdom

Brianna said...

UHMAZING advice!! I definitely needed this today so thank you (:

Shelby Ellingsen said...

giiiiirl this is exactly what i needed to read today, which is funny since you posted it like. a week ago haha. Thanks a mil!

Natalie Joseph said...

I really needed to read this today. I feel like I am in that place right now, where people are trying to put into their box and all I want to do is break free... x