My mom was my biggest critic. While, yes, she was very supportive of many of the things I loved, she was also the first to critique me. Long story short, I didn't have the greatest self confidence starting in middle school all the way through college and even after. So, whenever I'd jump into a relationship and start to fall head over heels, my mom was always less than thrilled. She saw the strength, independence, and tenacity in me ever since I was a young girl and then as soon as a guy would enter my life, I'd lose myself. My happiness would depend on the relationship.
I remember my mom telling me in some form or another that before I loved another, I had to love myself. Yet, I'm sure at the time, I'd hear that, roll my eyes and stomp my feet back up those stairs. Of course I loved myself!
But I didn't. Because I didn't even know who I was. There were so many boxes I felt as though I was being forced to fit in. Pressure from the outside world to be somebody that wasn't really me. Oddly enough, it wasn't until the death of my mother that I figured out who I really was. And I found out what it meant to really, truly love myself.
Whether you're single or not, it's such an important lesson to love yourself first. Create your own happiness. Take yourself on dates. Learn something new. Nurture your own health. Love yourself completely for your past, your flaws, your wrinkles, your scars, your strengths, your natural talents. Understand that you can rely on your own heart and that you yourself... you're enough. You're complete.
So, it's true... mama always knows best. And I'd like to think that she's proud of the woman I have become today and that she is excited (finally) to see that I'm ready now to love another... because you better believe I love myself ;)
To be continued...