What Can We Do While They're Sick?

Is there any worse feeling than being next to someone you love who is sick and not being able to make them feel better? And when I say someone I mean human or animal.

Two years ago, I adopted my tortoiseshell cat, Stella, from the Humane Society. Three months later she had a breast cancer scare and went through an emergency mastectomy. I was heartbroken. To have to take my cat to the vet, leave her there for several nights! [is that not the hardest thing to do?], and then pick her up with her eyes sunken in, her tummy shaved, and then watch her bump into everything with her cone on. I felt absolutely horrible for her.

We made it through that and then a cross-country move three months later, but didn't realize how hard things were about to become. Stella and my parents' cat, Missy, [but really she was my cat too] were there for me every night when I came home from the hospital the week that my mom died. Another time that I had to sit and watch helplessly.

Eight months later, I sat beside Missy as she tried desperately to hang on to life but her lungs and old age just couldn't do it anymore and we lost her too.

But through those losses, as horrible as they were to go through and still are today -- I've had my Stella girl by my side. Late last night, Stella started not feeling well. At all. She was up on her perch above the refrigerator and I climbed up to get her down and she collapsed into my lap and snuggled up.

I decided it was time to close up shop and for the two of us to go to bed. I carried her in my room, got under the covers, and motioned for her to come over. She is really a dog, I'm sure of it. Instead of coming over to snuggle against the other pillow, Stella wedged herself between the edge of the bed and my shoulder. Where she would be closest to me. She laid her little head on my hand.

It sounds like it's back to the vet we go. A place I hate just as much as the hospital. Keep my sweet girl in your prayers this weekend and send some happy thoughts our way.

Sometimes all you can do is be there to comfort a loved one. No matter how hard it is to admit, you can't take the sickness away. Just be there. By their side. Whether they're human or animal, it makes a difference to them.

Reminded of the Detours

Some days, you're going about with your normal life
Finding your new "normalcy" again
Getting into the groove of the life that's been re-routed time and time again.

And you're reminded of the detours;

The reasons life is no longer what it used to be.

Last night, I picked up Missy's ashes from the vet
Nearly two weeks after she left this world
And when I found out it was time to pick them up...
     My world shook just a little.
          It was as though my body stood still while another version of it kept walking onward
               To continue on with what was next.
                    Picking up her ashes.

I wasn't the same for the remainder of the night.
I felt cranky. Moody. Irritated. Annoyed. Frustrated.

It's like my body just rejected the pain.
And turned it into another emotion.

It's like I heard the "I'm sorry for your loss" phrase one more time and, boom.
My heart was done.
Done dealing with it.

To be honest, I don't know where this post goes from here.
I'm not sure I have a conclusion.
For now, I'll just keep cuddling Stella even more than I used to [like above]
And I'll be grateful that I'm part of a community where posting pictures of you & your pet is totally normal ;)
I'll also probably watch Pretty Little Liars
     to take my mind away from the detours until my heart gets back on track.

Speaking of Pretty Little Liars, who watched The Vampire Diaries last night?
    [I realize they are un-related]
       Oh.My.Gosh. Happy Friday and thanks for all your love & support this year!

All Cats Go to Heaven

As the clocks turned back early this morning, God gave me another angel. My sweet cat Missy of sixteen years now joins my mom.

Missy was old and within the past few weeks, I just knew she wasn't doing well. Her weight plummeted. She was barely eating and spent most of her time with her head on the water bowl. I had noticed her labored breathing and Friday night saw that it had gotten worse. She seemed desperate for air as she had to start opening her mouth for oxygen. She seemed better the next morning.

But Saturday night, I got home and took one look at her. She wasn't okay. Her tongue was hanging out of her mouth as she gasped for air. I could see it in her eyes. I laid there on the floor with her, not knowing what to do, feeling helpless. In all honesty, I thought she might die there in my arms as I cried.

After rushing her to the pet emergency room, the vet confirmed that Missy was in critical condition and that her prognosis would not be good. X-Rays showed a large amount of fluid surrounding her lungs and after looking at the fluid, the doctor predicted this was heart disease leading to congestive heart failure.

My heart ached. I picked Missy out of her litter when I was in fifth grade after years and years of begging for a kitten. She was my little girl and was there through all phases of my life. I always feared the day when I'd have to say goodbye. And there I was, at 2:00am in the emergency room with my cat hooked up to oxygen, knowing that in mere minutes I'd have to say goodbye.

I sat there on the cold surface, listening to a dog whimper in the back room, being faced with the reality of death again this year. The reality of how quickly such a big part of your life can be taken.

"Say your last goodbyes."

The absolute worst phrase that can be said in your lifetime. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, as difficult as that. Those last moments.

Nothing will replace Missy.

Finding her in the silliest places as a baby kitten.

The mornings I'd wake up to her "making biscuits" on my back.

The loud rumble that I'd hear as she purred next to me.

Turning around to see her doing "the squirrel."

Being total goofballs together.

Our sweet "see you laters" when I'd cry at the thought of being without her...

But most of all, I'll just miss Missy. My sweet, little kitty.

Some Pictures and Fall TV

First of all, I just wanted to thank everyone last week for all your love and support. I’m so grateful to be a part of this lovely blogging community and to have such wonderful FRIENDS in so many of you! Whether I’m having a bad day or a good day, your comments and emails are always sure to make my day :)

Next up! It was so much fun to FINALLY share some of my many iPhone pictures with you guys last week! I actually found myself taking a ton this past week so I’m linking up with Savanah and Erin again!

It’s hard to believe Christmas decorations are already out but I love this!

Listen, I’m not sure WHY there’s at least one Angry Birds reference on my blog a week, but check this out! Yellow bird, of course, because they’re the best.

My best friend’s little boy turned one this weekend so I was out and about on a toy shopping escapade. I loved seeing these German toys!

The classic Water Baby was one of my most beloved toys growing up. Hahaha. I loved my little doll!

One day last week, while going out to lunch, I spotted this bad boy in the parking lot. It will one day be mine!

I caved and let my cat Missy up on the table only to find out this is what she had in mind. Pardon the horrible picture quality.

Needless to say, that was Stella’s reaction when she saw the special treatment that was going on. “Hey, Mom! Let me up there too!”

It’s okay. Stella had her own fun later on while “tightrope” walking across the bottom of the chair!! She’s got skill.

These little puppies were pretty unique. Cute little wedges with a black tie across the front. Too bad my feet are way narrow and the smallest size was too big :(

While in Restoration Hardware one night {is that store cool or what?!} I saw this grey, tufted headboard! If you know me, you know it was love at first sight. Unfortunately, the lighting in that store isn’t ideal for iPhone pics but you get the idea!

Lastly, I’m also linking up today with Neely and Amber for the Fabulous Fall Blog Challenge since there are a few Fall shows I figured I’d mention!

First off is a show that starts tonight!

{via}

Hart of Dixie! Fingers crossed that it ends up being decent because I’ve missed Rachel Bilson! Who else will be tuning in tonight to watch this?

Then, of course, is one of my shows that just started up again two weeks ago…

{via}

90210! Sometimes I really feel like I’m the only person who watches this because I never hear anyone else mention it. But, listen… I’m not really one for series television {I like my reality TV} and I’ve been following this show since its first season. As a lover of the original Beverly Hills: 90210, I got a bit hooked early on.

The new Real World {SAN DIEGO!!!} starts this week as well. While the cast doesn’t look all too thrilling, I’ll be watching only because San Diego holds a very special place in my heart :)

Oh, and while they’re not technically “Fall” shows, I’m loving The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, although the Orange County girls will always be my favorites, and DANCE MOMS! Ohhhh my gosh, Dance Moms is amazing!

What are your Fall shows? Since there are so many, I can’t catch them all :)

10 Day You Challenge – Day Two

Today is all about nine loves. Whew, this is tough because I’m a pretty passionate person so there are many things that I love! Let me warn you now that this is pretty picture-heavy so if you don’t like pictures, sorry ‘bout it!

One: My Family

Me and my parents at graduation. My mom, brothers, and sister-in-law out to eat after graduation. Me and my nephew after his high school graduation. Me and my baby niece at her graduation {haha, I kid} Note to family: We need to take pictures together MORE OFTEN!!!!

Two: My Cats

 

My baby girl Missy that I got when I was in fifth grade after years of begging for a kitten :) She’s been staying with my parents since I went away to college and I miss her so much!

And my little Stella bear that I adopted earlier this year. I love the line that goes down her nose :) I also have a love for rescuing/fostering animals.

Three: My Friends (here are pictures of only a few!)

Four: The Beach (and sunsets… obviously)

Five: Dance

Six: Traveling

Seven: Turquoise

Eight: Music/Writing

No picture for this one, but I don’t think I can survive without music and writing. They kind of go hand in hand for me. I love listening to music when I write and my favorite part of road trips is listening to music. I’m KNOWN for my mix CD’s! I like a little bit of this and a little bit of that! And writing has always been a passion of mine since I was a little girl!

Nine: Home

Being away from home for so long really makes you grow a true appreciation for the place where you grew up. I can’t wait to be back where I belong.

This was really hard to pick only nine things that I love! I could go on and on. What do you love? What could you not live without? {and I’m not talking about your fave lipgloss, silly! We’ll save our favorite fashion/make-up loves for another day}